Adventures in the Afterlife
by JuneGilbertVivianRaeven
Summary: Tsunade joins the ones she has loved and lost at last. You think that's the end of her story? Think again! Spirits across the NeutralZone are disappearing, and only a certain Godaime Hokage has the power to save them! Jiraiya has been waiting for her for many years in the Zone, will he lose her now to a crazed villan's plot? Heck no! Read on to see their fates!
1. Chapter 1

**WARNING: There is some Dan (Tsunade's only lover) bashing in here. JirXTsu FOREVER!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Jiraiya would have kept his promise and returned to Konoha after fighting Pein. **

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter One: The Day That I Died

There was no cure. I knew I was dying the moment I felt the poison's deadly cold kiss seep through the senbon into my system. I had gotten slower, d****t, resulting in getting grazed with a poisoned senbon at exactly the wrong moment. But that wasn't going to stop me from my ultimate goal. To kill Tobi, the one who had, in effect, ended the life of one of my dearest friends and was, for now, the biggest threat to my village. I was NOT about to stand by and watch my village be slaughtered by this madman. I would FIGHT and I will ANIHILATE this crazed fool. Tobi was the one I was currently battling alongside Naruto, Jiraiya's last protégé. I would destroy Tobi if it took every breath remaining in my body. If only to make their silly dream of peace come true.

With a sigh, I reached deep within me to the inner fire always smoldering within me. The power and carnality I had to suppress since I was young, earning my keen mental control. The power that manifested in my own powerful muscular strength, honed through training, and the fire that had allowed me to elevate my bodily power to monstrous levels. I summoned every ounce of it, reveling in the rush of carnal power surging through my veins. Since I knew my death was imminent, barriers didn't matter anymore.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Everything about her intensified, the color of her hair, the burn of rage in her amber eyes and the definition to her musculature. Naruto had no idea what technique Tsunade-oba chan was using, but he could FEEL the power blazing off her. Tsunade'a eyes changed to a vivid blue, and her body became outlined in intense blue chakra. Each step crushed parts in the ground as she advanced on a transfixed Tobi. The b****** was wide eyed under his mask as he watched the battered Hokage approach. Naruto quickly realized what was needed.

So, he attacked.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX

I smashed my fist through his back while Naruto had distracted Tobi with a frontal attack. That gaki had gotten stronger over these last twenty years, that was for sure. I smiled on the inside, even as my face was emotionless as I felt Tobi's sinew and bone crack under my hands. A b****** like this deserved to die from behind.

Extending my fingers, cracking bone and tearing sinew as I went, I clasped them around the organ I could feel throbbing against my hand. Ripping my fist backwards, I tore out the guy's still-beating heart. My haemophobia didn't matter anymore; all barriers were gone. Finished. Using the last of my energy, I squished my hand in, the heart exploding in a goopy pulp. I was long past caring as the blood spatters coated me. I'd move heaven and earth to protect the people my men had died trying to protect. First Nawaki. Then Dan. And, last of all, my dearest, oldest friend. . . Jiraiya.

A wave of dizziness washing over me, I staggered and almost fell. Powerful young arms caught me, a concerned voice crying out foggily in my head. My vision was fogging over as well as my mind. Had to be the venom, or the various wounds Tobi had inlicted during the course of this battle. I was running out of time. I felt healing chakra surging into me, chakra wasted at this point. I was dying.

"Tsunade oba-chan! Tsunade! Hang on oh Kami please hang on. . . Tsunade . . . Don't die on me!"

That didn't sound like Naruto's normal cocky a** attitude. I didn't like it. He shouldn't be acting like this. . . Naruto was always laughing. Smiling. He had become a sort of bittersweet comfort these past years. A reminder of who I had lost, and why I had to live as long as I could. I knew I hadn't much time left. My eyes fluttered shut. The illusion I had been maintaining for all these years dropped, revealing my aged true form.

Who cared about appearences. Certainly not Jiraiya. I felt my lips twitch into a slight smile when I thought of his smile even as tears ran down my cheeks at the thought of how I had sent him to his death so many years ago. Well, payback's a b****. Naruto might greive, even though he'd said he hated me. Rightfully so. Shizune and Sakura would be sad too. But I had lost too many. . . I had grieved all my seventy something (shows you how I lost track after Jiraiya died) years of living for those I had lost. In effect, greif has always been my driving force. Jiraiya had died, twenty years ago in Amegakure, trying to alleiviate that tendency of mine.

Jiraiya. My foolish, devoted and loving friend. . . .

_I'm coming for you soon, Baka. Heaven, Hell or wherever I end up won't be the same without you, so you'd better have waited for me!_

I heard a surprised and worried cry from Naruto, but only faintly. Blurred voices converged into a great, humming noise until I knew no more.

**So what do you think of Tsunade's death scene? Defeating Tobi at last is really how I'd imagine her going out. Giving that precious gift of peace to the village she loved with every fiber of her being. The one thing she never had taken from her. I'm warning you up front, I'm a total sucker for this couple, but their road to love won't be easy. Tsunade thinks highly of him as a freind at the moment, but nothing more than her dearest freind. Of course, Jiraiya wants more, but that will take some doing. Will Jiraiya be able to win Tsunade's heart in the afterlife? Read on and see. **


	2. Chapter 2

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Two

I woke again standing up. The oddness of that happening surprised me. I stood in a line of people, with others appearing behind me in rapid succession. I wondered if this was the afterlife. . . . . If it was, I didn't want to be here. Noticing my surroundings, I felt even more uneasy. It was like we were in a great, foggy hallway, fog being the walls and ceiling and me only being able to see so far ahead in the line of people. Despite the size of the line, it moved relatively quickly. Still made me very nervous to wait and wait and not be able to see anything.

I followed the line until the apparent exit was in sight, FINALLY. There were three hallways splitting off from one massive, almost imposing room and each hallway was decorated according to where it went. One was decorated with opulent gold, silver, all the gaudy trappings of what I assumed was heaven. The other was. . . Suffice to say, it reeked of fire and brimstone and flames were occasionally spitting out the door when it claimed a victim. I shuddered. No way did I want to go that direction.

The last hallway was kind of odd, in its very normalcy. It looked like a hallway in the Hokage tower to me, the kind of tower that was trod frequently and was a little dingy with use. It didn't look like it belonged in the afterlife, actually. I wondered, rather edgily, which corridor I would be sent down. There was a massive desk in front of the corridors, three rectangles put together. At each rectangle sat a scribe, writing something in the massive books in front of them each time a spirit passed by. I shuddered, _Paperwork for all eternity? Now THAT would be hell._

The scribe's job was apparently directing each spirit to their door. Many were going through the "heaven" doors, and about as many were going through the "hell" door. However, not many went through the (for lack of a better term) neutral door. It made me even more nervous about where I would go. My turn came all too soon, and the middle scribe waved me over. The middle scribe was a woman of mild features, shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes with an average build_. She looked so bland. . . Was I really destined to go to the middle ground, whatever it was? ME? I am-was the Godaime Hokage for Kami's sake. . . ._The very thought depressed me a bit. Affter all I had done in life... Was I really going into such a normal, passive place?

Then again, how would I fit in in "heaven"? No matter how you looked at it, I was a hellraiser. Trouble tended to follow me wherever I went, so there was no reason to assume I'd go to "heaven". I wasn't Akatsuki caliber bad either so... hopefully, not much of a chance to go the other way either. I had my vices, but I had better traits(I hoped). But still, the neuteral corridor?!

"Senju Tsunade?"

"Yeah."

"All right. This way," the mild voiced woman directed, sweeping her hand toward the middle doorway. My feet started to move on their own.

"Hey! Why am I going in here?!"

I didn't hear anything in reply from her, as my feet were still moving inexorably toward the middle hallway. I couldn't even seem to protest as it zoomed up on me. Panic rose in my throat for the first time in years. I hated not being in control. The only time I let go of control was when I drank, and that was to forget. I couldn't even struggle, which was scaring me even more. There was a feeling of something massive hitting me, and then I knew no more.

**Wheeee! I updated fast, the second chapter up the day I posted it, probably thanks to my lovely two reviewers! To tatsumi-hime and the anon Tsunade lover, thank you thank you thank you! This chapter is dedicated to the first reviewers of this fic. So, what do you think of Tsunade's quick sentence to the "normal" route? The NeutralZone isn't as normal as one might think... hehehe... sorry about the cliffie, I do it so you all will keep reading! See ya'll for now, my faithful (and hopefully paitent) reviewers! **

**-June**


	3. Chapter 3

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Three

I woke with a start in a futon bed. I looked around bemusedly. The furnishings were generic: a futon, a dresser, a nightstand and a green rug over the light wood floor in a spot. I sat up, confused further when my body didn't ache like it normally did when I sat up this fast. Then I realized that I really WAS in my early twenties, not just resembling the time in my life. I had been given a new body. . . . Easily, I hopped to my feet. Testing my strength with a light punch to the air, I grinned widely when the mere air pressure of the attack made a dent in the wall. With a few more kicks and punches that didn't even touch the walls; I confirmed that I had regained the truly monstrous strength I had had in my prime.

"WOO HOO!"

I indulged in an excited dance for a moment. What punctured my happiness was the memory of my old body tearing out Tobi's heart. The squish of muscle in my hand, the hands I had promised myself never to kill with again. I had broken my promise. Sinking to my knees, I shuddered as the memories of my last, violent fight poured in. _So much blood_. So many died, despite my efforts. So many deaths that it had driven me to the front lines, to try and save what was left of my ninja and my village. As their Hokage, it was my duty to save as many lives as I could.

Even at the cost of my own.

I rose from the floor again. _Kami, this isn't the time to think about the past!_ I scolded myself. This was the afterlife. I had a new start here. I stood, and strode out of the bland quarters, shielding my eyes against the bright sun.

"Hime-chan!"

I swore and whirled my fist. It struck concrete as, even twenty years out of practice Jiraiya could dodge my hits when it suited him.

"Che! Don't scare me like that you Baka!"

"So I scared you, huh?"

His tanned twenty something face was just as I remembered it, onyx eyes glinting cockily and long white hair held back in a ponytail. The red streaks under his eyes had returned to their old size, confronting me with a carbon copy of my best and most annoying friend in his prime. Jiraiya grinned goofily, making my heart skip. He wasn't . . . angry? He wasn't going to chew me out for staying silent when I should have spoken? Jiraiya's onyx eyes crinkled somewhat, a familiar look of concern surfacing at my continued silence.

"Tsu-chan?"

I reddened angrily at the old nickname. Nobody else had ever gotten away with it besides my little brother or this baka. And the only way Jiraiya had gotten away with it was he usually **hid** behind Nawaki when he used it; being my teammate, he knew my weaknesses well. After Nawaki had passed on, I had given up fussing at him for using the nickname. It wasn't like anyone else would call me that and get away with it. Just Jiraiya.

"It's good to see you too, Jiraiya."

I smiled faintly at the befuddled expression the calm greeting had generated on his younger face. He straightened himself so he was standing up straight, instead of in what I called his monkey pose(involving him hanging from a porch beam mimicking a monkey. He'd often used it at the Hokage tower later on).

"You sure you didn't take one too many head hits in that last fight Hime?"

Then he got that trademark lecherous look of his as he went on, "Then again you do get a renewed body when you come here so. . ."

_Oooohhhhh... Why did he have to make me want to hit him even when we BOTH were dead? Such an idiot... My_ _idiot..._ **freind.**

I sighed grouchily, "Of course I'm sure baka. And get your mind outta the gutter. Or I will kick it out."

He laughed, "Yeah, there's the crabby Tsu-chan everybody knows."

I sighed, "Yeah yeah I'm here. How did you know I was here and how did you find me so fast Jiraiya? I just woke up."

Jiraiya laughed, that booming sound I'd missed deeply for the last twenty years (although hell would freeze over before I admitted as much to him). "Hime-chan, sleeping late as always! Its noon on the day you got here," his face sobered, showing a flicker of his true age, "I've been waiting for you, Hime. Well, a lot of us have been. I'm not a complete idiot; I pay attention to the new arrivals. Waiting to see if you're name appeared on the list of new arrivals. And, today your name did."

My cheeks reddened slightly at that confession. Jiraiya had been waiting for me? Somehow, that idea warmed me. As everything about him did, I realized. I'd been so cold and numb without my goofy friend. Baka or not, he almost always understood me. Almost always.

"Real sweet of you, Rai-kun."

It was his turn to redden this time. It had been my response to him calling me "Tsu-chan" to give him his own nickname. I smirked. We had annoyed the hell out of one another with our respective nicknames, but later in life I had rarely if ever been in a playful enough mood to use his. Then again, we'd lost touch for nearly thirty years. However, Jiraiya had still used my nickname PLENTY of times. Stupid baka.

"TSUNADE-ONEEE-CHAN!

**Okay, one guess who just pounced on Tsunade. WEEE! Fastest updates on a story yet thanks to my faithful reviewers. So excited! Thank you to the anons Tsunade lover and Countess for reviewing, as well as janeway and tatsumi-hime for reviewing! Thanks to tatsumi-hime and Tsunade lover for return reviewing faithfully! I love it when people review, it motivates me to update faster and usually helps me with ideas for the direction this story is going in! I honestly hadn't expected people to like my story this fast ^^ And thank you thank you thank you to whoever favorites this! X) And please critique my portrayals of the charecters. I'd like to know if I'm doing Jiraiya and the other charecter soon to be coming correctly. Thanks and as always please review!**

**-June **


	4. Chapter 4

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Four

I was pounced on by a brunette cannonball wearing his favorite outfit. A phantom copy of the First Hokage's necklace, the one** destroyed** by Naruto. I didn't blame the kid, as I had given it to him in the first place. It was time someone conquered that thing's curse. I staggered backward, nearly backing into the steps leading to the second floor of the apartment complex.

"Ooof!"

"Tsunade! Tsunade!"

I smiled, truly smiled, hearing the voice I'd missed for fifty years or more while alive. I scooped the kid up in my arms and hugged him, so happy just to hear his voice again.

"I missed you, you scamp! Hope you've been behaving Nawaki," I teased, cuddling him.

"Ufff of course onee-chan but put me down first!"

I laughingly obliged, smiling at my rumple-headed little brother. Who I hadn't seen for fifty years. His messy brunette mop was just as it always had been, his grey green eyes shining with happiness to see me. I repressed the urge to cry as I felt the old guilt surfacing. I was his big sister. Why hadn't I been there for him? I could have saved him! I should have. . .

"Tsunade."

As always, Jiraiya's voice brought me out of the downward spiral into bad memories. I smiled at him ruefully in thanks, turning to Nawaki, "Hey, why not show me around this place otouto?"

"Only if Jiraiya-kun can come."

Jiraiya grinned when I shot him an irked look. He seemed to just love this sort of payback. With a grin, as my little brother was long familiar with our trademark squabbles, Nawaki grabbed both of our hands and tugged us along.

"Over there is the clothing shop-Hi!-and right next to it is Furuka-san's ramen shop, and over there. . ."

Nawaki chattered on, excited to show me around the neighborhood he had been living in. Names drifted in one ear and out the other, because I wasn't really paying attention. I was simply hungrily drinking in the sight of two of the three of the people I had loved and missed most in my life. My heart felt almost swollen with feeling as I feasted my eyes on them both.

Nawaki's grey green eyes shone with pleasure as he talked, waving happily and explaining about me proudly to anyone who would hail him with a greeting. And many did; Nawaki was obviously well known here. All the adults greeted my brother indulgently, obviously used to his chatter. However, they would often glance at me, as if I was an utter oddity. Nawaki didn't seem to notice. He had been tugging both of us along, but at some point had let go of Jiraiya's hand to solely hold mine. The squeeze hold Nawaki had on my wrist spoke volumes on how much he had missed me.

Occasionally, when I hoped he wasn't looking, I looked at Jiraiya. He had the same geta he'd worn in life, no matter how much I'd teased him on it when we were older that they would ruin, and probably already had ruined his feet. After he had kicked up a pointed fuss about my heels, however, I stopped twitting him about it. His robes were clean, free of the bloodstains I had imagined in my darkest moments. Jiraiya grinned at the people he knew, saying hello and stopping for a quick chat before hurrying to catch up to us. The surprising thing was that we ran into several women of Jiraiya's type (beautiful, ample breasts, moronic and often, but not always whores) and he didn't make so much as a lewd comment. Not a one. Maybe that was because of present company, but that hadn't stopped him from saying (or doing) something perverted before. You have _**NO**_ idea of how many times I accused Jiraiya of attempting to turn Nawaki into a pervert.

"Distracted, Tsunade?"

Damn. He'd caught me staring. I turned my head away, my cheeks betraying my flustered state as I walked quickly away, "Is it a crime to look at a friend I haven't seen in twenty years baka?"

Jiraiya caught up easily with his longer strides. "Nah. You've got me there. Besides, who wouldn't want to stare at me?"  
_JIRAIYA! IF WE WERE ALIVE I"D KILL YOU FOR THAT ONE, YOU NUISANCE!_

". . . . . ."

Whump!

I had punched his shoulder, however, not hard enough to really send him flying. Seeing him wince, I realized I had hit his bad shoulder. Memories of his death had to make that HURT. . . . New body or not, he'd probably have phantom pains there for a long while after his death. The familiar sting of guilt stabbed me.

I sighed, "Didn't mean to hit your bad shoulder." _Damn. Even if he wasn't angry when we first met up, he's got to be mad now. . ._

"Don't mention it. It didn't really hurt."

I restrained a snort as I walked along, dodging the occaisional street stall. I had seen him wince; I knew that my punch hurt. However, the _It didn't hurt like some other things you've done_ was implied. I looked away from him, suddenly realizing I was no longer being pulled. Nawaki had disappeared at some point. . . I realized this had to be a setup. Or Nawaki had just lost us. I hoped it was the second option. I honestly had no idea how I would react to the first option.

"Tsunade? Why are you so distracted?"

I stiffened on automatic when a large, warm hand descended on my shoulder, pausing the pair of us under a store awning. It was hard to breathe with Jiraiya so near for some reason. His warmth, his low voice on my rattled nerves, his scent of foreign spices and something potently male, every bit of him was both soothing and rattling me. My head was starting to fog up from everything that had happened, memories dredged up and bitterest guilt stirring. . . .

"Tsunade," Jiraiya said, neatly snapping me out of the haze I was close to drowning in. Now he had both hands on my shoulders and concerned onyx eyes looked into mine searchingly. He was worried about me. I couldn't bear the weight of his concern over me. . . Especially when I was so undeserving of anything resembling care from this man, baka or not.

Gathering my wits, I managed, "I think we lost Nawaki. Where did that rascal go?"

With a smile as false as my illusion jutsu had been in life, I tried to turn away from him. His grip tightened. He refused to let me for a minute, and then a flicker of almost . . . despair crossed his face. He let me go a moment after. A facsimile of Jiraiya's grin quickly covered up the moment of unhappiness, but it had been there. Guilt raked at me again.

"I'm newly dead Jiraiya. How did you act when you'd first died and come here?"

_That came out wrong. All wrong._

It came out harsher, more snappish than intended. I winced, exasperated with myself. I couldn't seem to control my tongue as I should have been able to. I started walking again down the crowded lane, Jiraiya STILL following me for some reason.

"Makes sense. Want me to show you a place to unwind then? Nawaki will turn up; the kid knows the Neutral Zone better than both of us combined."

I sighed, my lips twitching in a slightly amazed smile. Like I said, thickheaded dolt at times Jiraiya might be, but he understands what pisses me off and stresses me out better than anyone else. He should, considering he's pressed most of those buttons and figured out the consequences for each. And figured out how long it takes for me to forgive.

"Yeah."

Jiraiya truly grinned this time. He stuck his hand out, and I gave him a curious look.

"Come on Tsunade. You're not stupid."

Scowling, I swatted his hand. Then, as some perverse notion hit, I grabbed his hand before he could completely pull it away. Jiraiya blinked in brief surprise. This wasn't normal for me.

"Stop gawking and let's find that spot you were talking about," I said firmly.

Jiraiya laughed again, and tugged me off into the bustling streets.

**Updated! I love writing this story! What do you guys think? Have I done Jiraiya and Tsunade well? And is Nawaki in charecter? What do you think of Tsunade's confusing feelings and Jiraiya's concern? Geez I have alotta questions this update. Please answer them anyway, in your lovely, much appreiciated reviews. Thank you to tatsumi-hime, janeway and BigNarutoFan for reviewing and return reviewing! Please, favorite, follow and review as you please, but I would love it if you did all three. Thanks!**

**-June **


	5. Chapter 5

**WARNING-Intimate scenes near the end of this chapter (not quite lemon, naughty words though)**

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Five

We sat at a ramen stall. Jiraiya had been catching me up on what had happened lately around the Neutral Zone, as this place was called. I had distracted myself from memories with food, and listening to Jiraiya talk. I couldn't stop looking at him. His onyx colored eyes, his hands, his body, whole and free from the damage my worst nightmares had produced. Thankfully, he kept any silly comments on how I was staring at him to himself. Jiraiya seemed to know that I was still a little shell shocked from meeting both Nawaki and the Ero Sannin (how I had laughed at that nickname when I first heard it exit Naruto's lips!) at the same time again.

I had finished my ramen a while ago, as had Jiraiya, and we sat in that comfortable silence we had enjoyed in bars, taverns and even caves so long ago, when we were maybe twenty something. We hadn't always been like this; if we'd been teenagers or even younger, no doubt we would have been squabbling incessantly and quite loudly. Sarutobi-sensei had often gotten irritated with us over it in those early years, before he realized arguing was our way of communicating. I smiled at the memories produced, and was so deeply engrossed in the funny memories I didn't notice when Jiraiya stopped talking. He gazed at me, onyx eyes crinkled and face holding that smile I had missed for twenty years.

The comfortable silence continued as I absently shook my water bottle. The only thing that irked me about the place was that it didn't serve sake. Maybe it was habit, but I was craving sake at the moment.

"Sake?"

I blinked, looking over at Jiraiya. He held a bottle of sake where I KNEW there hadn't been any before. I laughed, the pealing laugh I hadn't felt leave my lips since Jiraiya died.

"Baka! You were holding out on me," I teased playfully, smacking him on the back (on the uninjured side this time). He chortled and proceeded to pour a cup for each of us. I smiled and took mine when it was offered, sipping at it. I sighed in pleasure, FINALLY relaxing when the familiar and orienting burn of sake slid down my throat. I closed my eyes, savoring the taste, as well as cutting off my view of Jiraiya. I was too confused with him around. My heart felt like it was by turns being twisted in knots and warmed all at once when I was around him. To bury the embarrassing feelings I concentrated on the sake till I calmed down.

"So how's everyone doing in Konoha?"  
"Well as expected, last time I checked. We DID have a war going on, Jiraiya. . ."

"Did you know there's a way to check in on everybody in the land of the living?"

I barely restrained a sputter. So the legends of the dead watching over us were true. . . In a sense. I cocked an eyebrow at him, inviting Jiraiya to continue.

"They're called viewing ponds. All you do is find a body of water that's still enough and clean enough of algae and water plants so you can see your own reflection. Say the right words, and poof, you get a pretty good view of whoever you want to see. It only works if the person you want to see is still living, though. And the TVs at the bar get better reception, but those things are barely if ever private, so you can barely get a request in edgewise to what or who everybody else is watching."

"How do you know all this?"

"Experience, Hime," Jiraiya chuckled, well into his fifth or tenth cup, "I was told how to work 'em by Nawaki, actually. Seems he's been following your adventures for a while. Mine, too, since the rascally kid knew all about Minato AND Naruto."

I blushed, the hand holding my third or ninth (empty) cup as I considered the idea of my little brother knowing about the thirty years or more I had practically abandoned the village he so treasured. And some of the absolutely STUPID things I'd done on my travels. . . I gulped as I realized he was still proud of me. Even after everything I'd done after he was gone. I glared down into my sake cup, confused but grateful that Nawaki wasn't angry or upset. Or embarrassed of me. Then again, my little brother had never been the type to hold a grudge. I chuckled faintly as I realized I had held enough grudges for the both of us.

"What's so funny, Tsunade?"

My cheeks reddened further at the way he said my name, "Memories. Good ones this time, finally."

"Good. Wanna find a bar with more of this? I only have the one bottle. . ."

"You shoulda told me that sooner, Jiraiya! Baka chan," I scolded playfully.

I must have been drunk, even if we'd just finished the bottle, because I then proceeded to attempt to tickle Jiraiya. He wasn't having it, ending up with me chasing him down the street till we came to a familiar bar and fell into a booth together, both laughing ourselves breathless. Thankfully, I didn't spot anyone we knew particularly well.

"Stoppit! That tickles Jiraiya!"

"Turnabout's fair play Hime-," Jiraiya grinned then whooped with laughter when I tickled an especially sensitive spot. Through the many times I patched Jiraiya up, I knew many of the sensitive spots on him and exactly how many there were. Even though we'd never been intimate, I knew nearly every inch of Jiraiya's body.

"Barkeep! Your best sake, over here," I yelled, waving at the black haired man. He smiled faintly and went into another room. I continued to tickle Jiraiya until Jiraiya found a hole in my defense; he proceeded to very lecherously tickle me back. Lecherously as in he started to tickle me right under my breasts. I shrieked and swatted at his hands, my power going a little out of control in my excitement. I was breathlessly laughing even as I yelled at him.

"Jiraiya! Stop that!"

Even in my drunken state, I realized I had done damage when Jiraiya winced, cradling one of his hands in the other. Guilt began to choke me. I NEVER lost control like that. . . I shouldn't have hit him. . . Anger began to war with guilt. He shouldn't have touched my breasts like that if he didn't want to get hurt! I had EVERY right to hit him!. . . The booze in my system really didn't help the anger part, but I kept the anger down just long enough. The anger now cooled, I was now lucid enough to realize I had to help, whether he was wrong to do what he did or not.

"Hey. . . Let me help. . ."

"Nah. See, it's healin' already," Jiraiya slurred, grinning idiotically as he held up his hand. True, the hand structure was beginning to repair itself right before my eyes. _Amazing. . . So spirits had healing capabilities. I can't help but wonder what other abilities humans acquire as spirits._ Jiraiya winced, and then I noticed from bruising on his skin he didn't have one of the proximal phalanges positioned correctly. In times like these, it paid to be a medic. With a sigh, I nabbed his hand gently and, as gingerly as I could, set the bone to rights. It healed moments after. Jiraiya gave a relieved sigh.

"Even drunk you're the best medic ever."

"Thanks. I think," I snorted.

Jiraiya chuckled. Our sake arrived, and much of the night goes hazy from then on, as it tended todo when I got very drunk. Usually spending time with Jiraiya, funnily enough. I do remember a drinking competition somewhere in there, and Jiraiya passing out before me. I was VERY soused by that time, soused enough to be swaying in my seat. If you know my drinking habits in life, you know that this was me at my most drunk (before I passed out, anyway). I also remember something that, when I woke, prayed desperately was a dream. You'll see why in a minute. It went something like this.

_XXXXXXX Dream? (I hope)XXXXXXXXXXX_

_Jiraiya was laughing and preening at the top of his lungs, so loud it hurt my ears. I playfully tried to smack his back, but missed. He only laughed harder when he saw it. He paused his bragging long enough to give me a lecherous look, lingering on my breasts almost hungrily, which I didn't care about by this point._

_ "Losin' your aim Tsuuuu-chaaan? Hime's losin' her touch!"_

_"No way! I wusn't aimin' for you, baka," I slurred, laughing for no good reason. _

_ He laughed too, tipping back the first glass of out twentieth (or was it thirtieth?) bottle of sake. I knew he was done when he tipped backward suddenly. Jiraiya landed on the floor of the bar, snoring uproariously. I sputtered with laughter at the sight of my old teammate laid out flat, snoring like thunder._

_ Suddenly seized by a mad impulse, I flopped backward, landing on Jiraiya's chest. Jiraiya, woken from his (false) nap, gave a startled grunt at my landing. Feeling incredibly horny and cuddly, I turned over onto my belly, pressing my ample breasts against his warm, powerful chest. Wrapping my legs as best I could around his hips, I felt his cock stiffen even under all the layers of robes. Purring hungrily, I threaded my fingers into his hair and squirmed luxuriously, rubbing myself all over his body. A soft sigh of longing escaped as I wiggled my fingers in his long hair. The soft, almost silken looking strands of white hair had always fascinated me, especially when we were teenagers. I had always secretly imagined what it felt like to touch his hair (other than hitting him of course). Even when I was with Dan I would still find myself staring longingly at Jiraiya's hair, one of my few guilty pleasures._

_ My imagination didn't do it justice. _

_ I moved up, to see his face better. Startled and all too lucid onyx eyes stared up at me. I leaned down, smelling booze on Jiraiya's breath and some of that scent was completely his own coming off of his skin. I studied his face for a moment before I leaned down; the strong jaw I'd broken several times over our lives, the piercing resembling a wart on the right side of his nose (also broken often), his onyx stone colored eyes and, finally, his lips. Our lips made contact. A muffled moan escaped me, and I could more feel than hear male noises of arousal escaping Jiraiya. My body felt like it was on fire as I felt warm, large hands at the base of my skull, deepening our kiss. I moved willingly with his guidance, tasting his sake and his mouth, a wholly new sensation. His tongue, probing but a little tentative, pushed for entrance. I opened my lips,retracting my tongue, the feeling of his tongue's invasion of my mouth come with a heady feeling I hadn't felt in years. It took me a minute to realize it was arousal. Arousal far more throbbing and needing than I had ever felt with Dan._

XXXXXXXX Dream? endXXXXXXXXX

The end of this little sequence was when everything went black.

**What do you all think of the kiss? I know, I know, another evile cliffhanger. I do it to keep ya'all reading ^^ Any critiques for me? How was Jiraiya's reaction? Tsunade's mad impulse? Please tell me in your reviews what you think! Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: BigNarutoFan, tatsumi-hime, janeway and Guest (whoever you are ^^). Thank you and hopefully I will update soon!**

**-June **


	6. Chapter 6

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Six

I woke with a scream, snapping upright in my futon bed. Panting and wild eyed, I clutched white knuckled at the bedcovers in an attempt to calm my frantic breathing. Shivering silently, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to shut out the horrible, horrible nightmare. . . Curling over, I put my hands over my ears, as if to drown out the screaming still going on inside my head. My hair draped over my face, obscuring my view of the window long enough for a dark figure to slip in.

The blood. . . the screams of the dying, the moans of the wounded, the awful silence of the survivors. . . Blood still colored my vision red after that nightmare. I had gone berserk, wrapped in a mad, carnal rage and killed several of Konoha's citizens. . .Naruto, bleeding on the ground, a hole torn in his chest by my fist. . . Sakura, bruised and battered till she was nearly unrecognizable. . . Konohamaru, my Sensei's grandson, burned to death in a fire **I** had started . . . and Shizune . . . Oh Shizune . . . A hoarse, strangled sob tore from my lips as I remembered. I had lost control. It was all my fault. . . all my fault they had died. . ._Murderess. You murdered them, just like your cursed luck killed every man you ever loved! MURDERESS! You were never fit to be Hokage in your master's place! Filthy whore, not worth the Senju name-_, my thoughts raged. Shaking, I curled on the futon, just barely stopping the whimpers from escaping my mouth as I systematically stemmed the malicious voices as long practice had taught me. I had relieved each of the deaths in my life too vividly; this time, it occurred to those still living.

I was barely aware of strong hands warily touching my back. I was too busy vividly wrapped in my imagination of the events surrounding Jiraiya's death. The death of my light and laughter. The death of the one who had softened all the other blows I had suffered. Even when we were apart for those thirty or so years, just knowing he lived and laughed somewhere helped my heart. Knowing he still pulled perverted tricks somewhere, he still snickered in that way only he did, even knowing that Jiraiya was still alive and out there being Jiraiya made me smile. Even though he had his stupid, irritating and absolutely IDIOTIC moments, Jiraiya made me smile. He had always played the clown. What a sight we must have looked when we were younger: the clown, the misanthrope and the show-off Princess. Faint, slightly hysterical laughter drifted from my throat. I shuddered as the injury report replayed in my mind; innumerable cuts and abrasions, a chunk taken out of his trachea, six metal bars stabbed in his back and his arm torn from him. A whimper escaped as I curled even tighter into a ball, oblivious to large, warm hands worriedly trying to coax me to uncurl.

The tears finally made their appearance, despite all my attempts to reign them in. I cried like I hadn't before, ever, not even when my parents died; tears, runny nose, everything. Wailing cries came out of my lips, my body rocking and writhing but prevented from falling or hurting myself by a pair of strong male arms. I cried and sobbed until my head hurt, writhing in the seemingly ruthless iron bands that held me down. I was SO DONE with holding my pain inside. I couldn't take the pain anymore! The nightmares, the memories, the guilt, the worry. . . Whimpering faintly, I buried my face in a familiar smelling chest. It was all too painful to keep locked inside me anymore. This nightmare had been the drop that broke my legendary wall of self-control; at the idea, I started to cry again. I wailed and cried, at least drowning out my own thoughts, until I was hoarse; all the while, those muscular male arms were holding me patiently close to the warm torso. Even when I finally REALLY lost my head and started to scream curses, beating at the arms that held me, the intruder never let me go.

I was shaking and coughing before I was done. I lifted my head, sniffling and looking for tissues with tear-blurred eyes. A fuzzy around the edges hand held a handful of Kleenex in front of my eyes. I gratefully grabbed the Kleenex and blew my nose; the same helpful but blurry hand offering me a trash can. I took a few minutes to collect myself, wiping my nose. I was a little embarrassed with myself, cross that I had allowed this moment of weakness to overwhelm me. _Weak or not, I needed this_, I realized, sighing softly as I started to clear my eyes and wipe my cold cheeks free from the salty residue. Finally, the cruel voices I heard had shut up. The male arms stayed wrapped around my waist the whole time.

When I finally came out of the daze crying so hard had left me in, I felt a warm, masculine body near my smaller one. My eyes now clear, I recognized the arms and hands still securely wrapped around my waist. I stiffened in horror as I realized what I had just done. I had CRIED in front of Jiraiya. . . . .No. . .My cheeks went crimson in mortification. Now he'd tease me out it for sure. . . ._You're a worse idiot than him!_

But he didn't. Those onyx eyes gazed steadily into my reddened amber ones until I had the decency to look away, my cheeks scarlet. I was sitting, almost straddling his lap I realized. So when I felt his arms pull me closer again, I resisted. Wiggling and trying to get away, nearly panicking as he pulled me closer. Jiraiya was gentle but firm as he held me, one hand around my slender waist and the other, surprisingly, not at my boobs. I felt the rough material of the hand guards he wore at my shoulders. Silently, I leaned into his chest, his red and gold haori smelling of the ramen joint we had visited. I wrapped my arms around his chest as far as they would go. Jiraiya grunted quietly in slight surprise and then re arranged his grip to hold me more securely. I closed my eyes, resisting their filling again as he just. . . Held me. My body started to shiver; his kindness, even after everything I'd done to him. . . Even after I had sent him to his death. . . My body jerked painfully as guilt clawed at me, raking and tearing at my insides. Why was he so kind? After all I had done to him? All the years of hitting him, scolding him, teasing him, twitting him and rejecting him. . . Why was he still my friend?

"Wh-why?"

I calmed a bit at the feeling of his chest vibrating as he spoke, "Hime, you know why. It'd also help if you'd be more specific. . ." Even if what he said was a little cryptic at the moment.

"No I don't. . ."

Jiraiya laughed faintly, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. I liked the feeling of his hands on me. . .Waitaminnute. I had to still be drunk as all heck to be thinking that. . . My cheeks reddened again. Luckily, he couldn't see it as my face was buried in his chest. Once I'd gotten under control again, I leaned back to ask a question that had been bothering me for about five minutes now.

"J-Jiraiya. . . How did you get in here? I locked my bedroom door. . ."

"You forgot the window, Tsunade. Man, you must have been _**drunk**_ to forget locking the window. You always do that."

"Thanks a lot, Jiraiya."

"Dammit. That didn't come out right, Hime. . ."

"I know, I know."

I suddenly remembered what I'd been doing in my upset, "Che! Did I hurt you?" I immediately began to check him over; I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized the damage done was healing already. And, surprisingly, I hadn't done that much. Probably because he'd been holding me too tightly for me to move much.

"Tsunade, I'm fine. No worse than usual. But what happened? Was it the nightmares again?"

". . . Yes. . ."

"I feel a 'but' coming on. Spill what it is already Tsunade."

". . .They were worse. Different people in nightmares they shouldn't be in. . ."

"Naruto, Sakura and Shizune feature in any of them?"

I blinked, "How. . .?"

At the look on Jiraiya's face, I muttered, "Never mind. You missed one, though. Konohamaru featured in one of them. . ." I trailed off. I shivered silently, trying to forget the image of Konohamaru's face on Nawaki's mangled body.

Jiraiya winced, "Bet I know which one. Don't worry, it's nothing but a nightmare. Konohamaru's still up to his old antics in Konohagakure; if it makes you feel better, we can check on him in the morning. He's probably still running that sap Ebisu crazy." Jiraiya laughed warmly; I closed my eyes to enjoy the movement of his chest, laying my head against his shoulder with a low sigh.

My lips twitched in a smile; I couldn't help it. Jiraiya's idea was contagious; I could just picture that mop headed teenage delinquent running away from a panting and frantic Ebisu, howling with laughter the whole way. The taller, older man would be bawling threats, waving his fists at the now teenage punk while Konohamaru thumbed his nose at Ebisu, like his beloved oniisan Naruto. Of course, Ebisu would catch him later and the admittedly lovable grandson of my sensei would catch hell for it; even though he had graduated to chunin rank long ago, Konohamaru still cared about Ebisu enough to train with him. And Ebisu STILL managed to stop the not so little anymore rascal from wreaking havoc in other, more worrisome places. I was dumbfounded a moment later when a giggle, **a giggle**, escaped my lips. Not to mention the fact I felt a suspicious warming between my legs when Jiraiya rubbed what he meant to be soothing circles on my back_. I had to still be drunk. . . That was it. There's no way I could be. . ._, I clipped off the thought before it could finish. No way that could happen. Not in this universe.

I chuckled faintly as the memories of Naruto frantically chasing a teenage Konohamaru and Nara, Hinata and his first baby girl, around, trying to get them to come in to the house before his pregnant wife got angry with him intruded upon this (slightly disturbing) insight into my body. I had visited the Uzumaki home for many a holiday; hell, I'd aided and abetted several small misdemeanors with their four children. Or let them slip from my notice. Mainly things like washable finger paint (ketchup, on one occaision) on the walls, a frog (or slug, asked to do the task) in a sibling's bed or making things with mud that their mother highly disapproved of. I would have to tell Jiraiya about our hijinks sometime; somehow, I had a feeling he'd approve. I snickered softly at the idea.

"Feeling better Tsunade?"

"Definently."

"So, visiting a viewing pond tomorrow sound like a good idea?"

I smiled. "Yeah. I'd like that, Jiraiya. . ." I snuggled into his chest, already feeling warm and sleepy. Habit told me not to do it, no way, no way in hell to fall asleep in front of the Perverted Sage. Instinct, however, told me it would be okay. Jiraiya wasn't the type to violate a woman when she slept. He liked women to be awake and aware during sex..._Stop thinking like that you dummy. . ._

Jiraiya started, a little out of the blue, humming. I really liked the feeling of his chest while he did; for some reason, the vibration of it made me sleepy. Curling up in his lap, my eye lids fluttered. Jiraiya gently held me close to him, stroking my hair as he almost absentmindedly continuing his humming. His deep voice thrummed through the room, warming it and making it seem less cold, less impersonal and general. Warm memories came to my mind, fond ones; times we had squabbled, times we had made up, albeit somewhat reluctantly, the times he had comforted me, when I had felt so completely enclosed in a blanket of comfort, but I'd never been so free as right then in his arms. Jiraiya and I had always eemed to complete each other; even when we were squabbling teens, I'd have felt a little lost without my constant verbal and literal sparring mate. My breathing grew gradually slower as his low baritone continued the hypnotic song, not with words but with notes; one I'd never heard before, but they felt familiar. Like the old friend singing them, this song could speak without words to me. I wasn't sure what it was trying to say, but by then I was too drowsy to care. I blinked quickly, trying to stay awake long enough to say something. Something I needed to.

"Mmmm. . .gnight Raiya. . ." I could almost feel Jiraiya's smile as I felt large, gentle hands shifted me to a better position on his lap so I wouldn't fall off.

"Goodnight, Tsunade."

For the first time in more than thirty years, I drifted to sleep with a smile on my face.

**Biggest update yet! I know this took me awhile, but wasn't it worth the wait? thanks to BigNarutoFan, tatsumi-hime and Guest for return reviewing! And thank you Angel Lawliet, me updating does NOT require you hunting me down at our school. It does, however, require some paitence if you want me to update with a chappie this long more often. Have paitience please! ^^ Although it's really nice to know people are impaitient for me to update.**

**What do you think of Jiraiya taking Tsunade's mind off the bad memories? And who knew that Mount Myokobu houses some of THE MOST POWERFUL musical jutsu ever known? I sure didn't till I visited Narutopedia. What do you think of Tsunade getting up to mischeif with her sensei's grandson and her teamate's godson's daughter? Yes, I ship NarutoxHinata, because Sakura is STILL in love with Sasuke and a relationship between Sakura and Naruto feels like sibling shipping to me. You'll find out more about the romance in the living world next chapter. ^^ Again, paitence is required because there will be several tough scenes for me to write upcoming. Wish me luck!**

**With fondness and virtual cookies to everybody who has and will review**

**-June**


	7. Chapter 7

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Seven

I woke with a splitting headache and the morning sun shining directly into my eyes. Grumbling, I burrowed into the warm body and robes I lay on top of. _Why in hell would I leave a window open when I was this drunk last night? Judging by the hangover, anyway,_ I wondered grumpily. It didn't click until I heard (and felt) a low, male grunt come from the chest I was curled up on. I was curled up on Jiraiya. . . Oohhhh. . . I stiffened briefly as I sensed all the small indications of Jiraiya being asleep.

Jiraiya wasn't great at faking sleep, so by now I knew the difference between him awake and asleep. The even rise and fall of his chest told me he was asleep, among other things. I was, for some reason unknown to me, hyper aware of him, being so close for the first time since we were children. He was. . .muscular. . . distractingly so. I tentatively put my hand to his chest, worming it under the short green kimono he wore, his haori and was happy to realize there wasn't much of a barrier to his bare chest besides the usual ninja mesh armor after that. I snuggled to his chest, enjoying the sound of his heart so close to my ear. Jiraiya, this close to bare skin, still smelt of wood smoke and something unidentifiable that, well. . .made me feel uncomfortably aroused. _Ugh! Why am I thinking this? Why am I feeling like this? I can't still be drunk. . . And the other option I just. . . I just can't contemplate. Not after years and years of rejecting him. . . Not after I was basically the one who. . .who. . . Agh! Not this damn early in the morning! Not when the man I'm thinking about is. . .is under me. . ._ I felt a flash of very very ill-timed arousal streak through me at the ideas drifting into my head. _Dammit! Jiraiya's perverted tendencies are rubbing off on me..._ Just to put the icing on the cake, I heard a knock at the door.

I yelped as I scrambled upward, and very nearly staggering into a wall as Jiraiya woke with a startled noise. Swearing and stumbling, I managed to stand up straight and stay still long enough for the world to stop spinning. I snarled when the knocking continued insistently, feeling like a drum in my poor, aching head. It helped some that Jiraiya, when he recovered from the rude awakening, stood and closed the blinds. I took and released a relieved breath; the blinds being closed helped, but the insistent knocking was driving me crazy. Jiraiya was wincing as well; I smirked just a bit to realize he had the same whopper hangover.

I yelled bad temperedly, "I'm coming! Stop trying to beat down the door will you?!"

I staggered painfully when the nausea and the shakes hit, at the same time. Jiraiya was looking decidedly a bit green himself before I rushed to the bathroom as fast as my trembling limbs could carry me, knowing full well I needed to get it out before it CAME out. I vividly remembered those few times when I hadn't directly obeyed this impulse; suffice to say, Jiraiya would have laughed his ass off if he hadn't been hung over with me each and every time. I felt his hand grab the ends of my long blonde hair, raising it away from the danger zone as I leaned over the toilet, my arms shaking like a leaf in a gale.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We shouldn't have come today, Sarutobi-sama, sorry. . . It figures Jiraiya-kun would take Tsunade onee-chan out drinking her first night here. . ."

A distinctly familiar exasperated sigh issued from male lips, "That's alright Nawaki-kun. I knew they'd be hell raising all night and I still wanted to visit this morning. . . I really should learn from knowing you two so well."

"Heheh, you should know us well Old Man." I cracked open an eye and caught Jiraiya smirking at an all too familiar face. One I hadn't seen in more than forty years. . . More if you count the fact I was seeing him at a particular age I hadn't seen him at in a long time. His tanned brown face was crinkled in a smile, his spiky nut brown hair wind ruffled. Nawaki sat beside him, grinning under his dirty blond mop. Obviously pleased as punch he'd interrupted his big sister's morning. I scowled briefly at the little mischief maker. However, that left me wincing as even scowling hurt after that storm of crying last night and the hangover just was NOT helping. Not wanting to reminisce on that particular subject, I refocused in on the other man in front of me. The non-exasperating and confusing one.

"Sensei?"

"Yes, Tsunade, it's me," Hiruzen Sarutobi said with a fond smile on his lips. He then snorted quietly, "I know alcohol affects cognizance, Tsunade, but really? To not recognize me?"

"I did recognize you!" I winced at my own voice; eliciting a rough chuckle from Jiraiya, stifled giggles from Nawaki and a sympathetic grin from Sensei. "It just took me a minute, drat it." I rubbed my temples, feeling very much hung over and just not in the mood for the rush of emotions that seized me when I saw Sensei. Especially when he looked so much younger than when he died. I squeezed my eyes; painful memories, not the time to go there. Not the time to unearth THAT old guilt. Sensei just chortled and I scowled in embaressment.

"Old Man, why not wait? You knew I'd be spending time with Tsunade-Hime, so why come today?" Jiraiya almost sounded like he was actually sulky to see our sensei, but I knew he had an inordinate fondness for the older man. He'd grieved deeply in private after he was told the news; in fact, his feeling unworthy to take the position of our master had ended up in me being appointed Godaime Hokage. Jiraiya had felt unworthy because he'd failed to save our mentor from a teammate gone bad years ago. The teammate whose defection he had blamed himself for.

"Aren't I allowed to visit two of my students? And don't call me that Jiraiya," Sensei admonished Jiraiya, scowling a bit.

Both me and Nawaki could barely restrain laughter as an (albeit a quieter version of) old quarrel erupted between master and student. I quietly snuck to my kitchen, leaving Nawaki delightedly watching Hiruzen-sensei and Jiraiya squabble. I peeked in the fridge, relieved to find two hangover remedies. As well as grape soda (Nawaki's favorite) and, apparently, Sensei's favorite non-alcoholic drink. Apparently the fridge produced what you needed for a certain occasion. I snagged both hangover remedies and walked back into the living room. Walking behind Jiraiya casually as he argued some point with Sensei, I put the bottle on the top of his head.

"Sensei, I-Agh!"

I smirked. The hangover remedy was ice cold, and I was none too gentle as I set it down. Huffily a scowling Jiraiya grabbed the bottle before it fell off his now damp white hair, divested it of its top and took a pull, making a face at the taste. I sat back down on the couch again and did the same, minus the face. I was too used to it. After a brief minute, the pickle juice cleared my head of aches long enough for me to think of my guests.

"Do you two want something? We have grape soda, Nawaki," I asked.

"Yes!"

"As long as it isn't booze, Tsunade."

"Geez Sensei! I've been here all of two days and you expect me to have a stash already. . .," I groused sulkily.

Sensei chuckled, "I forgot how easy it was to get a rise out of you. Forgive me, Tsunade." He was still smiling as he said it.

"Of course Sensei," I sighed grumpily as I made my way back to the kitchenette. I poured glasses for each, listening with half an ear to Jiraiya resuming conversation. This felt nice. Playing hostess, I guess, even with a throbbing hangover. I reddened as the implications of this struck me a moment later. Jiraiya and I were almost acting like. . . a couple. . ._Ack! No! Not in this universe! Nononononononononoooo! I'm not a damn horny teenager! I shouldn't be even thinking this! _My cheeks flaming, I went to the sink and ran the cold water. I splashed my burning cheeks with the icy water, praying that dimmed the scarlet flush. Taking and releasing a deep, calming breath, I grabbed a dishtowel that had, again, appeared out of nowhere and dried my cheeks. Thankfully the half wall between the kitchenette and the living space had prevented any of them seeing my flustered moment. Calmed, I grabbed the glasses for each of my guests and took them out to the living area.

Passing them out, I sat back down, sipping my pickle juice rather disgustedly. At least it took my mind off a certain irritating and confusing pervert as he talked to Sensei and Nawaki. Once I was done, I took my glass to the sink, dawdling because I was feeling sleepy again. It wasn't right to deny Sensei or Nawaki face time, but still. . . I blinked drowsily, trying to stay awake. I could already feel the trembling factor setting in again. Damn. . . I hadn't had alcohol in years. Drinking had really been ruined by Jiraiya's death, especially since he'd been my drinking buddy for so many years. Too many of my favorite binge places had been ruined by memories of him there, drinking and laughing it up with me. And occaisionally AT me, if I remembered rightly. _The Ero Sannin sure knew how to ruin a great drinking spot without his presence_, I thought dourly. I staggered as my head spun; this resulted in an annoyingly loud crash of glass as I dropped my empty glass of pickle juice. I heard pounding feet as I nearly staggered into the counter top. Warm, strong arms grabbed me around the waist as I tipped dangerously over.

"Still tired, huh Tsunade?"

I nodded, wrapping suddenly lax arms around Jiraiya's waist. He gathered me up into his arms; with my sudden realization that _he was holding me_ my cheeks reddened. I silently burrowed into his chest as much as could, my head still spinning. I was feeling too dizzy and sick to worry about our image now. Besides, something about being so near him kindled something warm and very agreeable in my stomach. I wanted some alone time with him very badly at that moment. No matter whether my logical side screamed that he should GET AWAY and NEVER COME BACK; honestly, my logical side was getting thrown out the window in favor of craving the contact with Jiraiya I'd missed for twenty years. Admittedly, the contact I'd craved since Dan died. Jiraiya was the only one who could comfort me and it didn't feel like he was rubbing salt in the open wound. He knew how to comfort without words. I curled sleepily closer to him as his chest vibrated, muddled talking to Sensei and Nawaki coming to my ears. I scowled faintly when I heard Nawaki giggle. Thankfully, Sensei knew when to bow out, and took Nawaki with him.

I felt Jiraiya snuggle me close, burying his face in my hair. I let him, breathing a contented sigh. It had been years since I had been held by anyone, so I enjoyed the nearness. Now that I wasn't Hokage, didn't have an image to uphold, didn't have to be a certain way; now I could enjoy contact like this with him.

_What am I saying?! What about Dan, you inconsiderate woman? _I stiffened as I thought of him. Dan's smile. Dan's laugh, the laugh that had haunted me for nearly fifty years. Dan's light blue hair, blowing in the breeze as he talked of how he wanted to protect Konohagakure with everything he had. Dan's sea green eyes sparkling animatedly as he spoke fiercely on our shared topic, our shared crusade. Dan's body, bleeding out in front of me, helpless to stop it. To make the blood flow cease, to make him _**live**_. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to resist the impulse to cry again. So weak. So stupid. Something about releasing my inner beast when I died must have screwed with my control. . . It had to be that.

I barely felt Jiraiya sit down on the futon. What did snap me out of my downward spiral was his voice.

"Tsunade. . .Not tired enough, huh. Stop living in memories. Trust me, that's a bad idea. I did it often enough when I first came here."

My voice came out raspy, "Yeah, yeah. Stop remembering what I did to each and every one of you. . . I'd really be worthless if I did that."

"Tsunade!"

I received a sharp bop on my head for that statement. Irritated, I looked up at him with a scowl. To my surprise, he was scowling angrily back at me. Jiraiya gently cupped my cheek with one hand, anger melting into upset in his onyx eyes.

"You are NOT worthless Tsunade. You are beautiful, kind and -and-," Jiraiya reddened embarrassedly, tripping over his own tongue it seemed. I smiled faintly.

"Beautiful on the outside maybe. Kind, no. How about the years and years I rejected you? Hit you? Teased you? When I was cruel to you? Yet, you still came back. Why in hell would any man in his right keep coming back to a bitter, cold shell of a woman who abused him in every way possible when he could have the pick of any woman in the village?" Maybe that last was stretching the truth, but still... He could have married.

"Because you're not cold. You're the most fiery person I've ever met, Tsunade. I've met a lot of people and forgotten the faces and personalities of even more, Tsunade, so that's a feat. And. . . You were the only girl who could fight back and win, more often than not. Tsunade. . . I. . ."

"Spit it out already Rai-kun," I said, deciding not to comment on the "won more often than not" bit. Nine times out of ten I would win our fights. Unless he resorted to something underhanded.

"He never deserved you anyway! I mean, I don't, but, I'm a better candidate than Dan ever was!" Jiraiya's arm had tightened its grip around my waist, "I mean, I don't mean to make you angry or anything I just- I just-"

"Jiraiya."

"I mean, it's just, I've been wanting to say this for years-"

"JIRAIYA."

"Tsunade, please don't interrupt me! I need to say this! I didn't manage to when I was-"

"JIRAIYA!"I was glaring at him by this point, impatient with him for being so knuckleheaded. He was making my head hurt all over again with that damn babble of his. _This isn't the time! My head hurts, I'm grouchy, it's all wrong-feeling. . ._

"Tsunade, I-"

There was only one way to shut him up, I realized. I sighed, cupping his jaw with one of my small hands. He stopped stammering the moment I leaned in and kissed him.

**Long update! Yay! I know, I know, an evil cliffhanger! ^^' Believe me, chapter 8 is already in the works. Still in the processing stage, however. Be paitent with me and I will soon get it done and up. :) Thank you for all of you who return reviewed! LadyNightRose, thank you for your reviews. Guest, thanks! Reviewers like you really encourage writers like me! tatsumi-hime, thank you. I love writing this story! ^^ Be paitent and I will have chapter 8 up as soon as I possibly can.**

**-June**


	8. Chapter 8

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Eight

I woke up late, again. But at least I didn't have anything pressing until four in the afternoon. I glanced at the digital clock I'd gotten on one of the shopping days I'd had to go on to personalize my apartment. At least Grandmother Mito had been helpful in helping me find things for the apartment. _Phew. It's only twelve. I'd better get dressed though. _I stretched and moved to get dressed.

Two weeks had passed from the accidental kisses. I had passed the second one off as a way to shut him up. To his face. Wincing, I tried not to dwell on my clumsy explanation for something I really couldn't explain at all. I wasn't supposed to be feeling anything other than friendship for Jiraiya. My heart belonged to Dan. . .Who still hadn't showed up, even after a week of waiting. Clenching my fists, I breathed away the temptation to hit something. Or a certain perverted someone. He had looked SO smug, even though he had the decency to try and hide it, when I had told him, curtly, that Dan hadn't shown up but I had every intention of waiting for him. That hadn't ended well. . . Mainly with me smacking Jiraiya a couple feet away, calling him a baka for the umpteenth time and stalking away in a huff. After that, I had mostly avoided Jiraiya for the rest of the two weeks I'd been here. The drunk kiss and the shut up kiss had confused me enough; I didn't need to be around him and further confuse myself. Nawaki, Sensei and Grandmother Mito had been the limit of my human contact for the duration, and I planned on it staying that way until I had myself sorted out.

Well, excepting Grandfather Hashirama, who I was going to see today. Lately, he'd been busy playing with the kid-spirits, who had kept him too busy to see his own granddaughter until today. Mito had explained that sometimes, he ended up so wrapped up playing with the kids that he lost track of time. I sighed, knowing what she meant. I did the same thing later on in life with the children of Konoha, well, when I didn't want to get roaring drunk. Playing with those kids had eased the loneliness I'd felt when I lost Jiraiya. Maybe the reason losing Jiraiya had hurt the most out of all my losses in life was the fact that he'd been the only one left who had known the real me. Who could see exactly when I was bullshitting and when I was being truthful. I sighed, thinking, _And I've gone and driven him away with my mixed signals. Nice work, smarty pants. Who are you going to alienate next? Nawaki?_

Shaking my head to clear it of such dour thoughts, I slipped on my usual outfit and donned the green jacket with the gamble kanji on the back. I smiled slightly, remembering how I'd gotten it; one of my first and only winning streaks that hadn't come with consequences later on had resulted in me buying this. Now the thing was worn pretty thin with age, but I didn't care. However, the jacket had come to symbolize that unfortunate nickname I'd earned myself. The Legendary Sucker. . . It was true that I had a hard time resisting a bet, even with my crappy luck. I shooed away the thoughts of a particular bet with a particular knucklehead I'd cursed until my dying day.

Dressed, I headed to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Haphazardly, I snagged a bagel and started munching as I went outside. Nawaki had taught me the words to use a viewing pond, instead of Jiraiya, read _because I needed to avoid Jiraiya,_ but I wasn't that great with the technique yet. Besides, there was still plenty of this world left unexplored. And I'd just have to do the exploring without Jiraiya.

Damn. I was JUST FINE without Jiraiya around. I'd survived for fifty odd years just fine without his company. So why did I feel a pang of loneliness when I thought of being without him?

With a growl, I shook off such thoughts and exited my apartment. Striding quickly, I concentrated on remembering the route to the local bar. Even if you weren't drinking, it was a good place to meet up with people. At my asking, Grandmother and Grandfather were meeting me with Nawaki at the bar Jiraiya wasn't known to frequent. I wasn't ready to face him yet.

With an irritated huff, I stomped into the bar. Jiraiya just WOULD NOT get OFF my mind lately. My lips thinned as I thought of how lonely I'd felt in my forced avoidance of Jiraiya. I knew what I'd done was unfair and damn cruel. This avoidance was my penance. I wouldn't allow myself the company of my best friend until he came to find me_. IF he came to find me, and that's a big if considering what you've done to him._ I growled angrily at myself for such a treacherous thought. Jiraiya always came to find me. Even if we started bickering again right off the bat, he always looked for me. He would come. Right?

I scowled, sliding into the bar and morosely plunking down on the bar stool. I needed to forget really bad right now. Or else I might hit the next person who talked to me. I squeezed my eyes shut wearily; the stress of not releasing pent up tension from waiting on Dan was getting to me. Bad. I had been waiting half my lifetime to see Dan again. Why hadn't he come? Where was Dan? Had he moved on to another woman? The thought chilled my blood. Dan wouldn't. He couldn't. Not after I'd given up everything. . . . .everything after he died. I moaned and whacked my head to the bar surface, wincing at the force I'd used. _At least I didn't crack the table_. I made a hand gesture at the bartender; apparently he understood, because minutes later, blissful oblivion in the form of a comfortingly large bottle of sake. I poured myself a cup, sipping at the quality sake. Ahhhh... Concentrating on the taste was blissful...

"Tsunade. . . Trying to drink this early? Really, granddaughter?"

I growled, whipping around. I barely controlled my punch when I saw it was my grandmother, Mito. I had needed to meet her here, hadn't I? Her trademark Uzumaki red hair rustled as she sat next to me, smiling serenely. I was wary of that look in her eyes. . . A serene, yet vixen like look. I knew that look all too well.

"Yes."

"So Tsunade, I've heard from a little bird you need to de stress."

Little bird my ass. Nawaki would SO PAY for betraying his older sister's secrets to our Grandmother. . . I sighed resignedly, nodding at Grandmother Mito's statement.

"Yeah. I've been having. . .personal issues."

"That puts it lightly, Tsunade-chan. Well, I have two passes for a new club that opened recently. Would you like to take them both off my hands? Hashirama is sick, which is why he couldn't be here today. I'd prefer not to go to a club without my husband. The Leaf Fringe sounds like a fun place to go for a girl of your generation."

I sighed, smiling faintly. Here was my chance to de stress, as Mito had put it. But I wouldn't go without checking it out first.

"What's it look like?"

"You'll have to see for yourself, because I've never been before. I do, however, have directions to the place," Grandmother Mito said helpfully

Great. Hopefully it would have booze and a dance floor. That way I could really forget how all this emotional hell started. I took and released a deep breath.

"Alright, Mito-oba san. I'll take the passes to Leaf Fringe."

Mito grinned, "Somehow, I knew you would."

Mito then proceeded to hand over the tickets. I pocketed them.

"So, how's Grandpa doing? Nawaki behaving?"

"Your Grandfather swears it's just a cold, but I don't think we would make it to the opening of the club without him becoming worse. Little sicknesses like this happen all the time in the Neuteral Zone, Tsunade. It's not like we can die again from them, but Hashi wouldn't enjoy the club as much being sick. Nawaki is behaving, but he begs to visit your hous every day, Tsunade."

"Nawaki usually does visit. Then we go to watch the viewing ponds."

"So that's how it goes. Well, good. It's good to have you two spending time together. Have you reconnected with your parents yet?"

"No, not really. Haven't managed to find them yet."

"Ah well. You know, we could go later to try and find which list they were on..."

I didn't really pay attention after a few minutes of similar chitchat. I was dwelling on the idea of partying again. I mean, I hadn't been to a dance club since my thirties. I'd stopped going a few years after Dan died. _Funny how my life seemed to revolve around the dead, _I reflected ruefully as I sat there long after Mito had left. I was well into my fifth bottle of sake by now, the time nearing midnight. Luckily, this bar was open all night long. I could get soused and not care about getting home, at least tonight. Nawaki, by my own asking, still lived with Grandma and Grandpa rather than in my rooms. I needed some space for a while, to sort myself out after the whole Jiraiya debacle. Nawaki reminded me far too much of a certain cocksure white haired idiot who I'd been missing for far too long.

I sighed, tipping back the whole contents of the cup in one gulp. Forgetfulness was certainly a blissful idea at the moment.

_Time to drown my distractions,_ I thought, grabbing the still full sake bottle and tossing back my head to start gulping straight from the bottle, the fastest way I knew to get myself to black out. Jiraiya probaly wouldn't have condoned it, even though he had gotten roaring drunk right alongside me for many years using this very method. I was also beyond caring what anyone thought about my methods to forget my pain. All I needed was to forget. To get roaring drunk then black out to blissful unconsciousness.

And black out I certainly did, twelve bottles later.

**I know it's kinda short, but it's filler and building for what happens next. I decided I couldn't leave you wondering anymore ^^ And I promise, next chapter will be far more interesting. A new charecter makes a surprise appearence ^^ Is he who he looks to be or not? Find out next chapter! Thanks to Guest and tatsumi-hime for return reviewing faithfully! Till next time ^^**

**-June**


	9. Chapter 9

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Nine

I stood warily at the club entrance, debating whether I should go in. The place looked like a madhouse, loud pulsing music pounding from the walls and deafening this close to the speakers outside_. No wonder Mito had bowed out of coming with me. Even if Grandfather had gotten worse._ People were even gyrating in the street to the rhythm of the pounding beat of the speakers. A heady desire started to rise in my head as I caught a glimpse of the lights and sounds rising temptingly from the entrance below ground, with a staircase leading down. I wore a short new-leaf green dress that only reached 3/4 of the way down to my knees, showing my legs for the first time in years. The thing's frail straps had been dubious to begin with, but at least my breasts would hold the dress in place. The grass green heels I wore added a much needed two inches worth of height to my small frame. The dress also had a plunging neckline, more so than my usual wear. Guys were ogling me left and right. Luckily, all of them knew better than to attempt a come on. I hoped.

Well, hell. Why not go in_? Mito had given me the pass after all, even if she had backed out last minute. She had said she had needed one of the the passes for someone else right at last minute, mostly because they had needed it just as badly as me. I didn't really ask questions since she had left me with one. Best not to waste it,_ I counseled myself. Truth was, I was just starting to be eager for some hell raising like I hadn't done in years. I had also already drunk a copious amount earlier in the day.

I slipped into the front of the line, ignoring the angry cries of those who had been skipped behind me. A sultry smile at the bouncer and a flash of my pass later, and I was in the club. The pounding beat seemed to make something carnal in me thrum to life, a smirk slipping over my face as I beheld, amid the crazy strobe lights, a massive bar and a dance floor full of gyrating bodies. I grinned and slipped right in, easily slipping into the crowd and losing myself in the throbbing, vibrating beat of the heavy rock music.

I gyrated with wild abandon, finally allowing myself to let loose. Ohhhhh, and it felt WONDERFULL. Feeling male and female bodies near my own and just as sweaty as me, something sparked inside me. I hadn't let everything out like this in years; hadn't had this much fun in years either. I danced with wild abandon, not noticing a certain white haired someone starting to move this way. I felt him, however, his taller body gyrating against me from behind. But I was too far gone in the wild dancing frenzy that had seized me to even care. I ground my hips against him, even, and he returned the favor with equal intensity. Arousal rose within me, fiery and hot as ever, but we moved away from each other on that beat. I felt a flicker of disappointment but I was quickly re swallowed by the pounding beat and the gyrating crowd.

* * *

I scrambled out of the mosh pit of bodies, used to the rock music by now. My dress' straps had both been ripped off, and I had lost one of my heels in the fray. Taking off my other heel, I grinned as I hung it over my neck. I was also absolutely covered in glitter. My hair was completely down, loose in a cascade of blonde locks. I laughed, smiling as I made my way toward the bar. My head pleasantly buzzed with intoxication, a clear sign I should have stopped a while ago if I wanted to stay conscious, but I wanted more.

The bar keep slung me a strange, electric green vodka shot. I was soused enough to drink it down without a qualm as to what it was. My head was buzzing faintly but I didn't care. I thought I couldn't care about anything when I was this drunk. I giggled just for the fun of it and couldn't seem to quit as I watched the rest of the club through sake blurred eyes. _I'm really soused_, I thought absently as I slugged back another glass of alcohol. My tolerance must have been heightened when I died. Which should have meant I'd never be drunk again, but my head started to hurt at that point so I refused to think on it further. People danced, ground against one another, made out and more in the corners of the club. Then, my eyes fell on the one someone who I had never thought I would see at a club.

Dan.

His light blue hair loose, he was smiling at some brunette bimbo. Everything about him was as I remembered before the mission that took his life. Sweetly, heartbreakingly real. The man I loved who hadn't sought me out was not five feet from me. I rose a little shakily, fully intending to move over to him, shove the brunette out of the way and hug him. I didn't care that he hadn't sought me out, for whatever reason. I had waited almost fifty years to see him again, and I wasn't about to let a little thing like a cold shoulder stop me. However, what did stop me cold was when the green eyed brunette KISSED Dan.

White hot RAGE boiled up in me. _HOW DARE SHE KISS MY SOUL MATE?! HOW DARE SHE?! _A red haze began to cloud my vision as I strode over there weaving some on the way. I was going to beat the shit out of that bimbo. Bruise her up then demand an explanation from Dan. Demand it as in take him by the scruff and hold him there until he explained himself.

What stopped me from doing that was the fact that Dan had wrapped his arms around the brunette, fondling her ass.

My heart was crushed in an instant. The world spun, my body swaying as I felt the world fly up and crash right back down on its ears. Dan had betrayed me. He was with someone else. He. . . He had fallen for another woman's charms. Dan was UNFAITHFUL. . . . . This had to be a hallucination. It couldn't be real. My world couldn't be ending right in front of my eyes. The world narrowed to the sight of my love and his new woman making out. Dan slipped a hand under her skirt softly, like he had done with me all those years ago in private, and stroked her outer thigh. Memories of him doing the same things with me that he was doing now with that brunette bimbo flooded my mind.

A dull numbness settled over me, along with a rise of nausea. Mechanically, I turned and walked towards the door. My body, on automatic, shoved the partiers out of the way. I made it out the door without noticing who was following me, frantically trying to catch me before I left. I opened the alley door with a snap and stalked out of the club. The throbbing music was making my growing headache worse. The nausea came to flower, and I leaned over, retching hard. Shaking and wrapped in my pain and sickness, I didn't notice when familiar hands held my hair out of the danger zone and sorrowful black eyes watched over me. When I finished, I nearly collapsed to my knees but for a warm, male arm around my waist. Coughing and gasping, I slapped and hit at the hand, tears beading in my eyes as I relived the memory over and over again. I started to scream in anger and rage, writhing at the arms holding me.

"GET AWAY! GET AWAY FROM ME! GO! GET AWAAY!"

"Tsunade-"

I recognized that voice. _Jiraiya_. I writhed loose, panting and glaring wildly up into concerned black eyes. This damn concern again. Almost pity. PITY. _PITYING ME! _

_DAMN HIM FOR PITYING ME! I DON'T NEED HIS PITY! I NEVER HAVE AND I NEVER WILL!  
_"GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY YOU-YOU-!" I howled, rage spilling into my tone.

Jiraiya looked hurt and confused; some inner part of myself was berating my angry side for hurting him so. But the rage was in control now. The rage that Dan hadn't waited for me, like he promised, he had fallen for someone else he had left me left me left me left me. . . My legs were swaying, barely holding me up. I was shaking intensely and hated myself for doing so. It was like an admission that my world was falling to pieces around me. I swore and smacked my legs, intending to stop them shaking. Instead, my legs just fell out from under me, and I would have landed in my own vomit had it not been for Jiraiya's quick intervention again. By now, the tears were pricking at my eyes.

"Tsunade?"

I was coughing, trying to rid my mouth of the suddenly gone foul taste of sake; something had been in my alcohol that shouldn't have been. That had to explain the hallucination of seeing Dan kiss another woman. Make out with another woman. I had to be hallucinating. I straightened, swaying slightly.

"I'm fine, Jiraiya," I said tonelessly.

"Like Hell you're fine!" Jiraiya trailed off, that look of pain that I'd mistaken for pity flickering in those onyx eyes again.

"I. . . I saw it too Hime. Him. . . and her. I was in the club till a minute ago myself, and, well, I saw Dan and. . .her. Either we both are hallucinating or. . . it happened."

My eyes widened. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be true. I looked at him, and his eyes darkened with unspoken feelings. He couldn't lie to me. I knew his cues, what he did when he lied; none of those occurred when he told me that he'd also seen it. Jiraiya wasn't easily duped either, even though he had been an idiot in life. I started to shake as it sunk in.

I had wasted my life waiting for a man who never intended to be faithful. I had been faithful to his memory until the day I died. And he had betrayed me.

* * *

_**Jiraiya's POV**_

Tsunade-hime looked like her world was coming apart. Well, for her I guess it was. Her eyes were huge and clouded as she looked at me wordlessly, as if asking how I could do this to her. To shatter her illusion of love with that unfaithful son-of-a-whore. I was going to kill Dan all over again for making her like this. For crushing my strong, confusing at times and stubborn most of the time woman like this. Her body seemed all the more doll like as it resumed shaking. As the shaking grew more and more violent, emotions passed through Tsunade's eyes like flashes of lightning. Shock. Disbelief. Thinking. Then, the sorrow set in. As always, the sorrow was quickly hidden behind a cold façade. Too cold. I worriedly wondered what she was thinking of. Then Tsunade turned on her heel and marched right back toward the door.

I knew not to argue with her when I saw the dents in the ground each of her marching, almost stomping steps made.

But, no one ever said I was smart.

I followed her, grabbing her shoulder. Automatically, she swatted my hand away. I winced silently while removing my hand; she had used enough force to crack my hand bones, I was sure of it. I still followed her, ready to get her off Dan if necessary. Only because she might regret it later. And maybe to get a punch in on the bastard myself. I could never tolerate it when someone had done her wrong, even in life.

Tsunade cracked her fists as she muscled her way through the crowd, me following behind. Worry gnawed at me. Tsunade was obviously inebriated. And pissed beyond belief, with reason. She might regret this in the morning. There was no way I could stand seeing her cry (or hit me) AGAIN after all the mixed signals she'd been sending me lately. I should have given up trying to win her heart the day that I died. However, I had seen how she mourned me after the fact.

Tsunade had worn a black wristband every day after my demise, never taking it off, even to sleep. It had made my heart ache to see how she suffered in silence every day, with that grim reminder on her wrist. . . Even in happy events, like Shizune's wedding to Genma (FINALLY!), Tsunade would be alone for just a moment, and a shadow would fall over her face. She would clutch her bound wrist, take a few deep breaths, and then seek out someone to talk to.

She had cried only once in the twenty years she had lived after me; it was the ten year anniversary of my death. Every year on the anniversary, she would torture herself on purpose by visiting the memorial Naruto had made; my last student usually visited me as well, sometimes bringing his family with him. Tsunade still visited Dan's and Nawaki's graves, but that was beside the point. I had no grave because of where I had died, but Tsunade faithfully visited the closest thing she had.

Tsunade would come at sunset, when Naruto was at home with his family. She would look at the small things the children had left and smile a little wanly at some homemade art project or another. Tsunade would stand in silence for a bit, her eyes swimming with memories. Then, she would sit cross-legged a few feet from the memorial, and start to tell me what had been going on lately in her life. Tsunade's favorite topic to talk about was the children of Konoha. Somehow, I felt that they soothed her pains, both physically and mentally. Tsunade would then, in her usual short succinct fashion, catch me up on how the war had been going. Not that I couldn't see what was going on myself, but I liked to hear it from her. Tsunade usually brought a bottle of sake with her, but didn't start drinking until she'd caught me up. When she finished, she would take the bottle out and pour two drinks in her favorite sake cups. . . Actually a birthday gift from me. I honestly hadn't known they were her favorite until the first year when she pulled this.

The two years before had been mostly composed of cussing at me and asking questions even I couldn't answer. And kicking nearby trees and rocks to vent her frustrations; funnily enough, no matter how angry she got, she never hit anywhere near the memorial. Then proceeding to yell at me a while longer until she was spent and then curling up to sleep. I had a feeling she'd gotten really drunk before coming.

Damn. I'm wandering, aren't I? I may have failed my Hime then, but now. . . I knew I had to be there for her. Now, of all times, I couldn't fail her.

* * *

_**Tsunade's POV**_

I saw him half naked with the girl, his shirt torn off. Rage blurred my vision once more. He dares betray me. . . To betray a Senju means death.

Especially me.

"Dan Kato."

He jumped, having heard the low menace in my tone. Dan immediately started running. Smart. But not smart enough. My finger shot out, slamming into a pressure point, barely a love tap from me but enough to freeze his limbs in place. He gasped, coughing up blood. Memories flashed before me. How he had bled. How he had died. Despite everything I had done in my power to help him, he bled out. How much agony I had suffered through for the rest of my life because of this man. This man-WHORE who didn't return my faithfulness. I snarled in rage when the clone disappeared, the blood an effect added for realism.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL OVER AGAIN FOR THIS! FUCKING BASTARD!"

Fuck the man. The girl was sniveling and whimpering, in a shaking sobbing heap lest I kill her like her "boyfriend". I kicked her in the ribs contemptuously, uncaring if I seriously damaged her. Her spirit-healing would save her, wouldn't it? I was done. DONE with all the healer shit. I had been healer most of my lifetime: healer, counselor, instructor, leader, guide, friend. . . . I was DONE!

Shinobi are tools for killing, so many of the Leaf's opponents believed. I had believed differently, until now. Everything I knew and loved was eroding away with the faithlessness of my beloved. Strangely, I was dry eyed. Tears had left me when this knife in the back entered my heart. Thunder cracked as if to accentuate my meaning.

I felt an overwhelming urge to run. To flee from this sharp pain in myself. I simply turned on my heel, not even having to school my expression into blankness. Jiraiya, who'd been following me for some time, swore quietly, obviously glancing about the startled crowd to find Dan. His fist was clenched and those onyx eyes were glaring wrathfully, as if to say _Where is Dan?! LEMME AT HIM! _He's so old fashioned. . . Chivalry isn't dead after all.

I felt a flicker of sorrow for what I was about to do to him. If he followed me this time, I couldn't allow him to stay conscious. I walked out into a pouring rainstorm. Thunder blasted as I walked out, a soaking Jiraiya following me. A warm wet hand grabbed my shoulder and, before I could swat it off, pulled me close. I growled, half-heartedly beating at wherever I could reach. When he cuddled me closer I felt a sense of suffocation. I squinched my eyes shut, hating myself already for what I was going to do to him. Slowly encircling my arms around him, I indulged briefly, taking a lungful of his warm, comforting scent. He stiffened when I pinched a certain nerve through his clothing that would immobilize him for several hours. I supported him back into the club unobtrusively, leaving him in a booth. I smoothed the wet hair from his face, impassive at his shocked and confused eyes.

"Trust me, Jiraiya, you don't want to see me now. I need time alone." My lips curled in a self-deprecating smile. "You'd certainly fall out of 'love' with my image. Although I still can't see why you ever cared about me in the first place."

I silently padded out of the club, the music still dull in my ears. I felt like things had receded in my senses; nothing really mattered with the pain like a ticking time bomb trapped inside my smaller frame. I walked unsteadily through the less and less crowded rainy streets, not seeing where I was going but feeling a growing urge to get away. For not the first time, I started to run. I couldn't go at my normal speed, but it was slowly satisfying the ache of the growing grief blossoming inside me. The man I had loved until the day I died had been with another woman. My heart felt another dizzying stab at the thought, punctuated by a savage flash of lightning and the boom of thunder. I couldn't go on like this. I would crack eventually, I realized distantly as the rain pelted my skin like icy shuriken. My speed increased, albeit my weaving also increasing as I rushed along to only my feet knew where. The ache was growing more insistent, more real. I knew that when it hit I would need privacy. Privacy to fall to pieces all by myself.

I finally slowed to a stop, panting and gasping as I never would have had I not been at the fucking alcohol. I staggered, smacking the whole half of my body on a rain slicked tree. Wincing and more nauseated than ever, I threw up again on the rocky outcrop I stood on. I staggered away from the spot disgustedly, tilting crazily as I did so. Time to let it free. Time to let the damn bomb burst. The pressure was getting unbearable in my frayed from the corners to the middle state of mind.

I was probably several miles from the city, leaving no one to hear me. The time bomb choked my throat a moment, leaving me breathless and dizzy with the pain of holding it all inside. I had held my tongue for all my seventy four years of life. I had never let so much as a scream of pain leave my lips. The best the enemy or the doctor had gotten were hisses, snarls and loud swearing. I had been tortured only the amount of times I could count on one hand; I had never been captured for long with teammates like Jiraiya and Orochimaru. Or, more often than not, Jiraiya was the one in hot water. Rarely if ever did Orochimaru ever get his pale ass into hot water. The thought of my one-time teammate's betrayal of Konoha, betrayal of US and the murder of my sensei when I wasn't there to help him. . . That was what did it.

Finally, on a flash of lightning, the first scream escaped my lips. Once I started, I couldn't stop. I kept screaming on and on and on and on, till my throat was raw and, if I were alive, I would have torn my vocal cords beyond repair. I couldn't do anything BUT scream, it seemed, until I slipped on the rain slicked rock crag. Slamming my head into the solid rock on the way down, I knew no more.

* * *

_**Mito's POV**_

A sad smile curled over my lips as I spotted my granddaughter in a heap on the rock, the rain sheeting down on my rain gear. A cracked in half tree nearby and several spots where she had thrown up told me her night at the club had not gone as I hoped. I had been walking to check on my match making attempt when I had seen my granddaughter running past me blindly, a look of pain on her face as she flashed past. From there, it was rather easy to track Tsunade. As for my match making attempt, I had given the other pass I had to Jiraiya, in hopes that the two of them would make up after whatever had happened between them. I could see how each of them suffered with the absence of the other, and it hurt to realize my granddaughter was still haunted by her guilt, even in death.

I had gotten to know Jiraiya when I found him asleep by a viewing pond. I checked what he had been looking at lately, and found him to be watching Tsunade as she slept fitfully. Then I remembered him, although quite foggily, as one of Tsunade's teammates when she was very young. At that point, he had stirred and gotten quite flustered that I had caught him watching Tsunade. From how he spoke of her during the talk we had had, and ever afterwards, it was rather obvious how he felt about my granddaughter. With watching my granddaughter during the last twenty years of her life, I also had my own suspicions on how she felt about Jiraiya, even if she didn't know it herself yet. I hoped the pair would find each other. But, if their life was anything to go by, they needed a bit of prodding in the right direction.

"Mito-chan? Where are. . . Oh. You're matchmaking didn't work out as planned then ."

I rolled my eyes fondly, "What blew the secret, Hashi? The fact that Tsu-chan is unconscious out here in the pouring rain? Or was it that the earth around her looks as if she had a drunken temper tantrum?"

"Heh, Mito, be kind. We need to at least get Tsunade out of the rain," my husband said, handing me the umbrella as he knelt to pick up our granddaughter. Easily carrying Tsunade's shorter frame, Hashirama stood up with a soft grunt. I smiled fondly at Hashi. Tsunade had inherited her grandfather's talent at Ninjutsu, if not his diplomatic skills. Her strength and power was all her own, however. Hashi was still puzzling over how our granddaughter had ended up with her incredible muscular strength. It was beyond what just training would acquire, meaning it had to be the bud of some new kekkai genkai. Then again, these are just Hashi's theories. Tobirama still teased Hashi over his deep curiosity about Tsunade's power, this being one of the main squabbles between the two brothers.

"Let's get Tsunade home, Mito," Hashirama said, grinning at me when I raised the umbrella to include them both. Lightning flashed Tsunade stirred faintly, curling a bit tighter in her grandfather's arms. I smiled, feeling that flutter of sadness again_. No one should have to go through what Tsunade did_, I thought sadly as we walked back into the tree cover.

Hashi must have noticed my melancholy feelings, because with some difficulty he managed to kiss my forehead. I smiled up at him through the storm induced darkness. My husband had always been kind and faithful to me, even if our relationship had started out as an arranged marriage. It had taken the possibility of him dying in battle against Madara and Kurama to make me realize what was there all along; Hashirama loved me deeply, and he would gladly die to protect me along with the beautiful village he had founded. I had been deeply in love with the man ever since. When he died in one of the many wars ravaging our country at the time, I had been devastated. One of my few comforts were my grandchildren and, a little oddly, Kurama, whom I had sealed inside of me during that long ago battle to save my husband.

Kurama had soothed my grief by being with me every moment, either arguing with me to distract me or just. . . Being there, a presence I knew I would never lose. A reminder of why I had to live as long as possible. My grandchildren had comforted me by their ere presence; even when I fell gravely ill, near the end of my life, my precious grandchild Tsunade visited me often. On my worst days, I could count on her to make me smile. Tsunade had talked to me often of Jiraiya, howling her frustration with him to the rooftops. It all too much reminded me of my own relationship with Hashirama before I had realized I loved him. I had tried to coax her to give him a chance; however, stubborn as she was, Tsunade didn't listen to me. Soon after, she met Dan. Dan was a kind man, but not right for her. Soon, Jiraiya and Tsunade had drifted apart over problems incurred over Dan. I died before I could aid them on sorting it out. The two of them seemed to have worked it out after I passed on, however.

I pursed my lips silently as I watched the troubled rise and fall of Tsunade's chest in my husband's arms. I couldn't help but worry for her. She mumbled a name in her sleep that I didn't quite catch, but it made my husband clutch her small frame closer and quietly swear under his breath. I was surprised, even more so when I saw a droplet of water slip from Tsunade's closed eyes. My husband was normally a level headed man who detested cursing, and my granddaughter detested tears. I looked questioningly up at the dark scowl on his face. Hashi's face softened as he saw me, still heading towards our home.

"She said something about Dan. If he made her like this. . . I swear I'll hunt him down. NOBODY makes our granddaughter cry like this," Hashirama growled, clutching his granddaughter and looking extremely upset. Tsunade made an uncomfortable noise and wiggled in his arms. I gently put a soothing hand on his arm.

"Loosen your grip Hashi. You need to watch your strength."

He nodded sheepishly, loosening his grip accordingly. Tsunade relaxed once more. As we arrived at our house, I plucked the key from the string around my neck it usually rested on and unlocked the door. Hashirama carried Tsunade inside, tenderly tucking her into our guest bed and waving a hand over the back of her still bleeding slightly head. The cut sealed instantly. I helpfully got a chair for him, and he slumped down into it, still with a stormy and upset expression in his eyes as he nervously watched Tsunade. I knew nothing or no one would persuade him from Tsunade's side until she was awake again; it was simply my husband's way. I sighed and kissed his forehead.

"Get some rest, Mito."

"As long as you'll get some sleep sometime tonight."

He chuckled, "Don't worry, I'll probably doze off at some point. Go to bed, Mito-chan."

"Alright alright. Good night, Hashi."

"Good night Mito."

* * *

**Wheeeee! One of my longest updates yet. I can't believe I got a chapter with over 2,000 words! WEEEEEE! This is a major milestone for me ^^ Soooo happyyyyy XDDDD**

**Now that I got the excitement out, what do you think of this chapter? Dan's betrayal? Jiraiya following Tsunade and yet getting tricked again into immobility? What's your favorite part or the part you really don't like? Any ooc ness is completely a part of the plot, just so you know. Any other questions for me?  
**

**I included Mito's pov like you asked, tatsumi-hime. Darkdragonhead and tatsumi-hime, thank you for reviewing! I love it when I get feedback on my stories like this! XD **

**I hope I will be able to update agin soon, but at least I didn't leave you a nasty cliffie :) Review please!**

**-June**


	10. Chapter 10

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Ten

I woke fuzzily in an unfamiliar bed. When I eased into a sitting position, I saw Hashirama asleep in a chair beside me. Wincing quietly at the hangover that hit, exacerbating the slight ache in my head from what I thought was a head wound. I knew Grandfather had sealed the cut that I had sustained, my head just ached from the aftermath. I was very lucky not to have memory damage. I gingerly reached my fingers around to probe what might be left of the cut. As a rule, medical ninja didn't heal you all the way, so you were a bit frail until you healed on your own.

"Don't do that Tsunade. You'll likely open up the cut again."

I sighed. Grandfather was awake. I obediently removed my hand from the vicinity of my head, placing it on my lap.

"Do you remember what happened last night, Tsunade?"

I winced. I preferred not to, as remembering things at the moment made my head ache worse. I shivered as bits of it came back to me: Jiraiya temporarily paralyzed, a light blue haired man kissing a brunette woman, rage, sake, and pain. So much pain.

"Unfortunately, yes."

"You don't have to tell me. Our home is open to you as long as you need to heal."

"Alright."

I sighed, closing my eyes as Hashirama simply waited.

"I'm fine, Grandfather. No need to watch me every moment."

"Tsunade. . ."

I reddened slightly at his gently remonstrating tone. It forcibly reminded me of when my father had chastised me over some small misdemeanor, like taking the blame for one of Nawaki's smaller pranks or a slip of my grades in the Academy. I hated memories like that.

"Stop doing that Grandfather."

"What?"

"Trying to get it out of me. I. . . I can't tell. Not now."_ Not when it's still raw. Raw like a gaping wound inside me. A wound the greatest medical ninja ever known can't heal. Hah. What irony, _I thought bitterly, my lips curling into a self-deprecating smile. My slender hands clutched the sheets hard enough to leave my hands white knuckled. I stared at the bedspread, trying to ignore the searching dark eyes.

Eventually, Hashirama gave up. For the moment. He eased out of his chair, my ears keenly aware of the scraping of his chair and the slight noise of his footsteps. The creak of a door and a breath of wind as it shut. I exhaled as I heard Hashirama's steps recede down the hall of his home. I simply crumpled back, ignoring the ache in my head as I slipped into a stupor as I stared at the ceiling.

Dan had been with another woman. My reason for refraining from other relationships in life was gone. My way of life was gone. Everything had fallen to pieces last night. Irreparable. That as the word that came to mind. My eternity of peace was gone. Replaced by a nightmare that would never end. My clutching hands went limp as I drifted half drowsily. Memories fluttered in on gossamer wings, many not really registering. My father was one of those blurry memories, him having died before I could really know or love him enough to truly miss him. Mother was the same way, her having died in childbirth to Nawaki. Grandfather I had held dear, true, but he too had died early in my childhood. Mito was the only parental figure I held in any great respect or had any deeply fond memories of. I supposed that influenced my affection to a certain blond gaki who I had named my successor, since Grandmother had been an Uzumaki before her marriage to Grandfather.

Surprisingly, the memories that registered most were the ones of the men I had held dearest in life.

One of them being Naruto. His laughter, his smiles, his stubborn insistence that HE WILL BECOME HOKAGE. . . I laughed faintly. Even the boy's hatred would inspire me to smile, because it was a memory with one of the people I held dear to my heart. Naruto had opened up my world to so much when he had come with Jiraiya to get me to take the position of Godaime Hokage. . . He opened his home to me, even though he hated me for his sensei's death. Naruto let me watch his and Hinata's children grow up; the kids had treated me as a surrogate grandmother. I had spun tales to the children; many of them had been missions from my own childhood. Nara had always loved the tales of when Jiraiya and I had gotten older, without Orochimaru, while her siblings preferred the ones with all three of the legendary Sannin. Naruto had allowed me into his world, participating in the good times and the bad times for his family. Naruto would never have any idea how much that meant to me. I hoped the letter I left behind would give them all some idea of exactly how grateful I'd felt to be a part of a family again, if only for a while.

I never noticed when exactly the tears started flowing, but once they did, they couldn't or wouldn't stop.

Dan drifted in next. No surprise, considering what had happened yester night. He had shared my vision about medical ninja in the field; he had been a year or two older but he had treated me as an equal. Dan had also lost his younger sibling to the war. Shizune's mother. So much blood as he died. . . My heart stung just to think of him. He was the one I had practically thrown my life away mourning, the one Jiraiya could only soften the blow of instead of sew me back together like the first time. And Dan had stabbed me in the back. My throat choked as I thought of how long I'd spent mourning. Grieving, wishing, praying he would forgive me for failing him when it mattered most. And it turns out he'd already forgotten Konoha's Slug Princess. I leaned up quickly, retching painfully into the trashcan near the bed. The thought of him made my stomach roil again after I had finished throwing up the first time. I pushed away the memories forcibly, easing the waves of nausea.

Nawaki drifted to my mind next. His smile, his giggles. . . Nawaki had been a light in my life. Now he was again, but in death. His death had torn my life up for the first time. I had thought I wouldn't survive it. Dan hadn't been the one to patch my heart that time either, although sometimes it seemed so. Jiraiya's constant company, though irritating and confusing at the time, had slowly mended the aching rift to something more manageable. Nawaki had been my light, why I laughed, how I anchored myself amid all the screams of the dying and the sobs of the survivors. My little brother had been my reason to survive. When he had been torn from me, my world had been ripped apart. Nawaki had been the first death I had been deeply affected by. However, Jiraiya had sewn my world back together.

Jiraiya. How his death had nearly crushed me. I closed my eyes with effort. At the memory of those first days after his passing, my body started to shake. I dry heaved, nothing else in my stomach to throw up as the tears poured down my face in two thin, hot streams. So useless. Even if I was made out to be the greatest medical ninja ever to come out of Konoha, what damn good did it do when I lost every single person who ever truly knew me? Why did I have to lose everyone who loved and knew me? A cracked laugh escaped me at that part. Dan didn't know or love me, obviously. I winced, curling into a ball as the familiar spasms of pain wracked me. The old frozen feeling was creeping over me like an insidious disease. The spasms grew fainter and fainter as the numbness slipped over my whole body like a fog. I curled tighter into a ball, slowly freezing over from the inside out.

* * *

**Some time later...**

What slowly brought me out of it was the sound of arguing. I peered out the window, feeling very dizzy. It was sundown, and I realized I hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. At least, I hoped I had only been spaced out for a couple hours. As Nawaki had explained, we spirits didn't HAVE to eat, but it often helped keep us focused. I uncurled, wincing at the soreness of muscles cramped too long in on position. I stood up, feeling wobbly and achy. Reminding myself to breathe, I paused for a moment to regain mobility. Moving to the door, I paused when I heard voices.

"Isn't she okay? Why can't I see her, Mito sama?!"

"Tsunade had a rough night, especially from what you told me. She needs some time to recuperate by herself. Give her a day or two and we can try again."

"But-! Please Mito-sama! She needs people to be around her! I. . . I hate when she's upset. . ."

"I do too, but after what you told me, don't you think she deserves some time to herself to recover?"

I'd never heard Jiraiya sound so upset and frustrated. Was he really this worried for me? For the woman who had rejected him for years? I shook my head to clear it of the miasma of guilt threatening to engulf me again. The voice that helped was Nawaki's.

"Tsunade onee chan!"

I laughed hoarsely as Nawaki barreled into the room, followed by a somewhat frustrated looking Hashirama. Nawaki promptly pounced into my arms, and I picked him up easily. Snuggling his smaller frame to mine, I heard him laugh in relief and start squirming. I refused to put him down though.

"I'm alright, kiddo. Hangover's mostly gone," I said, petting Nawaki's brown locks.

"Good. Can we visit the viewing ponds? Can we can we can we?"

I laughed softly, smiling at my little brother's eager hopefulness, "It's awfully late, Nawaki, shouldn't we wait till tomorrow?"

"Awwww! Whyyyy?"

"I just said why, you silly, it's late."

"But I don't have to have a bedtime anymore big sis! So it's not too late," Nawaki said with that childish smugness in his own rightness. I smiled at his face; just being with this little guy lightened my load.

"Just because you don't have a bedtime doesn't mean it isn't late, Mr. Viewing pond maniac-"

Mito, having just come in with a familiar white haired man following, interrupted, "Oh, Tsunade, why not take him to the viewing ponds?"

"No! Like I said, it's late for one thing."

"Why else shouldn't we go?"

_Damn. _I honestly couldn't think of a plausible alibi. . .

"Nawaki-kun, your big sis needs the full day to recuperate. Remember, lots of partying means longer recovery time," a warm male voice chuckled.

Jiraiya had simply flashed a grin at Nawaki and the little guy was completely won over. He started wiggling more, and I put him down. Nawaki promptly ran over to hug Jiraiya as much as a 4 feet 7 inches boy could hug a 6 foot 3 man. I smiled slightly at the odd comparison. Jiraiya knelt down to hug Nawaki properly, Nawaki nattering in his ear the whole time. Hashirama smiled, and took Grandmother by the arm and tugged her to their room. Jiraiya looked over at me while Nawaki was chattering at him; the ghost of a grin on his face seemed to indicate he'd forgiven me. At least for yesterday's incident, I hoped.

"Alright, Nawaki-kun, your big sister needs to eat. And you need to head to bed."

"Only if you tell me a bedtime story."

"Alright, alright, I'll tell you a story just as soon as your sister gets something to eat to help with her hangover. Go get ready for bed in the meantime."

"Kay," Nawaki said cheerily, going to do so after Jiraiya let him go.

"I still don't get it how you get him to do that," I grumbled quietly as I walked into the living room. On the way, I bopped Jiraiya on the forehead because his gaze had (out of habit, it seemed) drifted to my cleavage. I was NOT in the mood for him leering at the moment. . . Although it was nice to have some things return to a semblance of normal. I promptly slapped the back of his shoulder-the only spot I could reach on Jiraiya.

"Ouch!"

"You know what happens when you look there, Baka."

Jiraiya grinned sheepishly, holding up two familiar takeout containers, "Hopefully this makes up for it.

My spirits brightened. One of the take out containers was chicken and dumplings, my favorite. The other one was, obviously, ramen. Something he'd gotten hooked on thanks to either Naruto or Minato, Naruto's father. Both were ramen nuts. It seemed to run in the family, as Naruto's children shared their father's love of ramen.

"Definitely," I said, grinning at him. He handed over my take out and we both sat down at Hashirama and Mito's kitchen table. I wondered at how easily we slipped into the camaderie we had had while we were alive. . . _Why does he do this? Every time he rescues me from drowning in my own hate or sorrow. Or worse, memories. . . Why does he rescue me every time? _ I tried to ignore these niggling thoughts as I ate, my mind thankfully recovering slowly with the combination of food and Jiraiya's solid presence near me. He finished his ramen before I finished mine, and simply watched me with those steady black eyes.

I finished my dumplings warily, feeling his eyes on me. His eyes were inscrutable; even after the years we'd spent together, even after he had learned to read my face like a book at some points, when he got like this I couldn't fathom what he was thinking. There were hints of sorrow in his expression, which was what unnerved me most. Besides the fact that his eyes never strayed from my face. Not my breasts, just my eyes or face or whatever. The point was, he wasn't looking where he usually did. Getting a little nervous, I moved to throw my takeout container in the trash. Jiraiya watched me intently the whole time.

"Tsunade. . ."

"What?" I snapped, it coming out a little harsher than I intended. He didn't bat an eyelash, however.

"I need to tell you something."

My heart seized up. What now? What bomb could be dropped that would shake my life up even more than what Dan had done to me?

"I'm sorry."

I was honestly astonished at the openness with which he said it. His eyes were truly sorrowful, something I thankfully never saw often on Jiraiya's face. I wondered bemusedly what in the world he was apologizing for, and asked him exactly that. He looked down, as if, for once, he was unable to meet my eyes.

"For breaking the one promise I made to you that mattered, Hime. For not coming back. . ."

A slightly hysterical chuckle squeaked out of me at the ludicrousness of this situation. Jiraiya looked up, a flash of anger and hurt in his eyes. I caught my breath at the stab of pain that sight produced.

"I wasn't laughing at you. . . I was just laughing because I'd forgiven you long ago."

Jiraiya blinked confusedly_. I wasn't the most forgiving person on the planet,_ I thought ruefully. I moved over near him and he stood up. He was still looking down at me with a puzzled expression in his onyx eyes.

"Still confused?"

He nodded, a flicker of aggravation present in his eyes. His eyes were embaressingly telling for a shinobi.

"I forgave you before I died, Baka. It wasn't your fault," I said simply, moving to the living room and to the couch to sit. Jiraiya trailed after me and looked warily at the recliner, but I snagged his sleeve and tugged him down beside me. Between you and me, Jiraiya looked a little relieved.

Then he got a good look at my face.

"Dammit Tsunade! That wasn't your fault either!"

"I didn't even try to stop you Jiraiya."

"Naruto had no damn right to say what he did, because my choice was the only one that would save the village! That would give that idiot kid a chance to fulfill his destiny. I still can't believe he took it out on you," Jiraiya growled, his eyes hardening and his fists clenching.

"Don't get angry at him. People say stupid things when they're grieving. I should know."

"Still! Why did you take it to heart if you thought it was just a grief thing?!" Jiraiya was looking at me frustratedly and pleadingly.

"Because it's true. No matter that it was said in grief. I could have stopped you and I didn't. I didn't even reach out to you, Jiraiya. I didn't even make a token effort," I said quietly. He needed to understand. I was guilty for so damn much.

* * *

** Jiraiya's POV**

"I don't get it Tsunade! Why in hell would you take all of this on your shoulders?" I begged, not quite aware of what I was doing as I grabbed her shoulders. Tsunade looked impassively at me. Her eyes. . . They were frighteningly lifeless. I wasn't used to seeing my Tsunade like this. It was like the very thought of my death had rendered her hollow.

I couldn't have had that much effect on her, could I?

"Because I didn't-"

"Don't you dare say that again! You know full well you couldn't have stopped me, strength or not. As the Hokage you made the right choice."

"As a friend, I couldn't have made a worse one."  
"Huh?" Inwardly, I winced. Your romance chances were never worse than when you were in the friend zone with a woman. I should know.

"I lost the bet Jiraiya. I regretted it for the rest of my days," Tsunade laughed bitterly.

Slightly disgruntled, I said, "I. . . Damn. . . Just. . . I'm still sorry for breaking my promise, alright?" I was still feeling confused and upset. I hadn't felt this wound up in years. Why would Tsunade blame herself for something that was beyond her control? I clenched my fists and looked away, resisting the urge to hit something. And the urge to take Tsunade into my arms and protect her from the world, one urge I had had to resist a lot in my life-time.

So imagine my surprise when I felt slender arms wrap around my waist. Tugging me backwards, Tsunade lay back onto the couch, my body blanketing hers. More from surprise than anything, I allowed her to pull me into her warm lap. Feeling her warm arms latched around my upper waist, strangely, didn't make me as horny as it should have. The rise and fall of her magnificent chest, however, did.

Her slender hands moved over my chest, one settling docilely over my heart. I heard and felt her breath catch a bit at the feeling. My breathing wasn't so calm either. I mean, when you're in a position you'd fantasized about for over forty years, how would you react? I was trying to not react to her nearness. . . How close and near her. . .Damn._ Don't go in that direction or you're REALLY SCREWED_, I reminded myself. Unfortunately, my cock was having other ideas.

What successfully distracted me was Tsunade's breathing gradually slowing, and her other hand cupping my cheek._ Was she actually falling asleep cuddling ME to her? Me, of all people? _ I shifted, turning our positions so I could hold her. She was too tired to wake the whole time, which was saying something as I got a little klutzy at a point and jostled her.

All that happened was a bit of mumbling and when I got her balanced again, she snuggled into my chest. Damn. That was an obvious mark of how tired she was and how much she'd been hurting over the past for the two days, even when she was unconscious. I had gotten worried when I hadn't seen Mito for a full day; Mito enjoyed finding me and talking to me. Mostly about Tsunade. I also made sure not to get caught by her in my other pursuits, but peeking had somehow lost much of its appeal without the hope I could catch a glimpse of Tsunade. _She is so small. . . Even now I'm a little afraid I'd break her if I ever straight out told her how I felt. Even though she's broken me much more than once. . . In more ways than one, _I thought laconically, shivering inwardly as Tsunade squirmed in my arms. _I'm going to have to be careful with her, aren't I?_

She stiffened. Uh-oh. I recognized the precursor of a nightmare when I saw it on Tsunade_. Dammit, it must have been that talking about the past that brought this on. . . She'll probably still be in and out like this for a few days_, I thought with a sigh. I gently shook her, trying to wake her up before the nightmare got any worse.

A moan escaped her. Tsunade's slender body tensed, her fists clenching in my robes. _Uh-oh. That's never a good sign. . ._ Her breathing got rougher and she began to shake a bit. I shook her a bit harder. No reaction but to whimper softly. I winced at that. Tsunade, a conscious Tsunade, never made noises like that. It hurt a bit to know I couldn't protect her from this new pain in her heart.

"Tsunade! Tsunade, wake up! Geez.. . ." She hadn't woken up, her muscles tensing more and more as the nightmare apparently worsened further. Her breathing roughed and she started to shiver. I checked and her skin had grown icy cold. _What the hell?. . . . No wonder she likes staying near me lately. I've heard her say I was like a furnace when we were younger, but it's annoying to know why she's been cuddly was just to use me as a heater. . ._ I growled and resorted to lightly smacking her cheeks.

Suddenly, Tsunade jerked and her eyes flew open. Breathing hard, like she had been running for hours, Tsunade was trembling. Hard. Her amber eyes looked so vulnerable. . . My protective instincts going faster than my brain, I cradled her close to my chest, burying my face in her hair. Her scent enveloped me, a mixture of the healing herbs she worked with in life and something potently woman that I had never discovered in any other woman. Never, in all my years of chasing skirts, had I run into a woman who's very scent soothed and turned me on all at once. Biting down the hunger from scanty practice, I squeezed her to my chest tightly, not even registering the fact that her breasts also pressed close. My throat clogged as I thought again of how much she had suffered with and without me. I had let despair get the best of me when I went to Ame. I had let go of my hope to win my Hime, or so I'd thought. But seeing her brought back all the old feelings again. What I had tried to let go after I died had only returned ten thousand fold after Tsunade getting this badly hurt in her heart. _I might be an utter fool for feeling this way, but I still love her._ I refused to lie to myself anymore. Rubbing my red- streaked cheek over her hair, I repressed a moan as my heart continued to hurt from the all too long absence of my love. We had been separated for twenty long years.

This time, my Hime wasn't going to get away from me.

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

I was surprised when Jiraiya crushed me to his chest. I was even more surprised and confused when I realized it wasn't just me shaking. Jiraiya was clinging to me as if I was his only lifeline. Allowing Jiraiya to cuddle and cradle me, I managed to rasp out, "Jiraiya?"

"Please Tsunade. . . Just let me hold you. Please."

I was shocked at the shakiness of his tone. Jiraiya's breathing was raspy and a little choked, and he almost convulsively clutched me closer. I drowned my fright at how he was acting by burying my face in his chest. His tense muscles seemed to relax, his face still buried in my hair, the warm breath on the back of my neck slowing. I felt a prickle of heat shiver up my spine at the feeling of his closeness and his breath on the back of my neck. Jiraiya's hands weren't clutching where I thought they would; instead, one was at my waist and the other was at my shoulder. His long fingers, on accident (not even the pervert Sannin could fake these sorts of emotions that well), lightly brushed my breast. I shivered slightly as darts of fire spread through me at the much to intimate touch_. This was NOT supposed to happen!_ My rational side yelled. _You loved Dan! Not this fool!_

_DAN BETRAYED ME! WHAT WE HAD IS NO MORE! What Dan and I had was a LIE! _I shuddered at the thought as it came up.

Out of much practice and no little anger at myself for bringing up the sore subject, I silenced my logical side. I wiggled one of my arms loose and gently rubbed his arm. I tried not to notice how muscular his arm was, or how warm it was. _Ack! Stop that, _I scolded myself. He needed comfort, not more mixed signals. Clutching at his sleeve, I leaned into his chest. His rapid heartbeat was gradually slowing to a more normal pace. I blinked to stave off the drowsiness incurred by the nearness of his heat and the hypnotic beat of his heart. With my free hand, I reached around and tugged the tie that held his hair in its customary ponytail loose. His white hair was as silken as it had been in the drunken dream I had of touching it as it cascaded over my small questing hand. Which likely meant it wasn't just a dream.

I couldn't dwell on it right now. The Jiraiya I knew was cracking in front of me. He who had patched me up countless times was showing not so faint cracks himself. I put the hand on his back over his heart, nosing myself to where I could hear it best and he could feel me.

I would not abandon him. Not ever again.

* * *

**Chapter Ten! Wheeeeee! HUGE MILESTONE FOR ME PEOPLE! :D I have never published so much on another story! 3 I love all you guys who have been reviewing and will review. You guys and girls are the reason I publish :) **

**Is Jiraiya still doing well? I tend to make him a little more romantic than normal, I think - Anyway, please critique how the charecters are portrayed and well, review! :) There will be some happy fluff in the next chapter as I decided to take a break from angst. As requested, Tobirama will feature in that chappie :) I have to update quick since I'm in computer class and it's about to end ^^' Only time I could find to update. What with all the craziness going on in my life since my grandad died, I haven't had much time or will to write in a few days. This happy milestone is the only thing happy I've had happen in a while.**

**Anyway, as always, please leave a review! :)**

**-June**


	11. Mini Chapter

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Mini-Chapter

Tobirama Senju liked to visit his brother at all hours; he had a key, so why not? And he thought he was entitled to doing his best to piss of Hashi after all Tobirama had been through in life. Everyone deserved some fun, right? Which was why he was visiting his brother at midnight. Tobirama smiled as he walked up to the two-floored cottage's door. Hashirama and Mito kept a neat house, both inside and out.

Contained clutter in places, sure, but contained clutter nonetheless. The clumps of wildflowers lining the walkway leading to the door attested to that. The door was painted a mixture of deep crimson and leaf green, a combination of their favorite colors. The crimson and white wildflowers popping up in the oddest places in their yard was a product of Mito's second attempt at gardening in the afterlife. Tobirama chuckled as he remembered the incident, his pale face creasing in many laugh lines as he laughed a belly laugh at the emory of Mito's face at her failed first attempt. Suffice to say, Mito hadn't gardened picky annuals since. She stuck to hardy annuals, thank you.

Tobirama had been a permanent bachelor in life, so it wasn't like he had a wife to keep him safely at home like Hiruzen or Hashirama. Kami, how his student had grown. Did he mention how proud he felt when he considered all Hiruzen had done for the village his brother founded as its Hokage? His student had taught Tobirama's grand-niece and also taught some of the greatest ninja (betrayers or not) to ever blossom from the Leaf. Plus, he had cared for the Uzumakis as if they were his own children, a big point for Tobirama because he felt a younger brother's affection for Mito, as well as an uncle-like feeling for Kushina. After all, Kushina had been Mito's successor as the jinchuriki container.

Kushina's son still lived, although last time Tobirama looked through the viewing pond he was grieving deeply for Tsunade. Apparently a letter Tsunade had left behind for him had brought the blond man to tears. She had believed, to the grave, that Naruto had hated him for allowing Jiraiya to go on his very last mission. Naruto had been deeply upset over it, his upset magnified tenfold when he realized just who Tsunade had named her successor. The kid had been all a-dither the whole darn time.

Tobirama smiled at the thought as he unlocked the door to his brother's house. Silently padding through the mud room of the house, Tobirama walked into his brother's living room. The sight that met his eyes was absolutely adorable. _It's about fucking time those two got together, I mean, they're meant for each other if Mito and Hashi's arguing means anything_, Tobirama reflected as he watched the two snoozing, cuddled together on the overstuffed couch. Jiraiya was clutching Tsunade to his chest as if she were his only lifeline. His eyes weren't visible as he had buried his face in Tsunade's hair, but just from his body language he looked more relaxed than the man had ever been in the time Tobirama had known him. Surprisingly Tsunade apparently hadn't tried to get loose, instead wrapping one of her small arms as far as it would go around the bigger man. Her eyes were shut and she was breathing peacefully. It looked like both of them were getting the good night's sleep they both deserved. Tobirama sighed softly.

It would only hurt things to reveal what he had discovered to them. That their old teammate had had one surprise left up his sleeve, even after he had been sealed by the Uchiha brats. Tobirama shook his head.

It wouldn't do to reveal to Tsunade that, for all intents and purposes, she had a daughter still living in the world. Sure, she hadn't given birth to the girl, but Hisako was her genetic daughter alright. It was evidenced in the powerful muscular strength the young woman had developed at three years old. Hisako was twenty already, or at least that was Tobirama's best guess. His grandniece and Hisako had shared a special relationship even if they hadn't known they were mother and child. Tsunade had given the child rooms near her own, and the adoring girl had looked up to his grandniece as a mother. Admittedly, all of the hubbub now had probably driven the girl completely from Tsunade's mind. His grandniece tended to the girl with what was left of her battered heart in her last years. Hisako and Tsunade were almost as close as Tsunade and Shizune had been, but the relationships were diffrent. _This is getting you nowhere Tobi, _the pink eyed man scolded himself.

Tobirama shook his head. _That's what I'm here for. To discuss with Hashi whether or not Tsu-Tsu is ready to discover this relationship. Which was why we've done our best to keep her away from viewing ponds. Although neither Nawaki nor Mito have been helping because one doesn't know about this mission of ours and the other one thinks Tsunade should know. Oh well. . . Those disappearances of other spirits lately have gotten me on edge. Maybe I'm being paranoid. . . _

Tobirama, with difficulty, moved on from the cute scene in the living room. He had other, bigger concerns than the state of his grandniece's romantic life. Which he also had no right to be intruding upon. With a longing sigh, he reached his brother's room and knocked on the door.

* * *

**I'm sorry for inserting such an important OC at such a late date! ^^' I will possibly insert her in the revamped first chapter, but for now this is where Hisako is introduced. Hisako's story after her rolemodel passes will shortly be posted to my account, if you guys show any intrest in it ^^ It's an idea I got recently which is why she wasn't put in in the first place. However, how did you like that little plot twist? Any speculation on who Hisako's genetic father is?**

**I've been having a rough time lately as my grandad's memorial service was just last weekend... Please be paitent and still review, even if this chapter is really a mini chapter! Hey, I did update didn't I? Thanks! :)**

**To those of you who asked for Tobirama, what do you think? Should I continue these bits in Tobirama's perspective?**

**As always, please review!**

**-June **

**My Grandad**


	12. Chapter 11

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Eleven

After a full week of begging, I was finally indulging Nawaki in his whim to go to the Viewing Ponds. With Mito's help, I had packed sandwiches and drinks. I wasn't the greatest at cooking so Mito had suggested something simple such as this. I sighed softly. Maybe I should take cooking classes from Grandmother. . .

I had never had the patience for it when I was younger. I picked up the basket, balancing it on my hip as I listened to Jiraiya and Nawaki jabbering away, trading information about how life- or, rather, afterlife- had been since they last talked. Which wasn't long. Those two seemed to be talking every day now, laughing over things they would hide from me the minute I came into the room. I shook my head as I headed over to where their voices were. My old teammate and my little brother always had gotten along well.

Honestly, however, I was looking forward to seeing those who still lived again. Even though I didn't want to see them sad, I knew they had to be over mourning me. _No one would want to spend too long on me compared to their own personal losses,_ I thought with a slightly sad smile as I watched Nawaki bouncing up and down at something Jiraiya had said. The pervert grinned and made an all too familiar motion with his hands.

I growled and swatted his shoulder with my free hand, "Don't go teaching Nawaki how to squeeze breasts! If he's been doing that Nawaki he's out of our picnic, no matter how much you beg."

"No! He wasn't teaching me! Please onee chan don't get mad at Jiraiya!" Nawaki sputtered, waving his hands in a "no!" gesture.

"Tsunade, must every motive I have be perverted?!"

THWACK!

"When you make that particular motion, YES," I growled, grabbing the white ponytail of the wincing man, "Now come along and you'd better not talk about peeking anywhere near me you pervert."

"Geez, you wound me Hime. I think I've learned better sense than that in the afterlife."

"Didn't stop you before," I groused as I let go of his ponytail and started walking, the hamper of sandwiches still intact.

Nawaki hustled ahead, being the one to show the way. Jiraiya made a sulky noise and followed behind me. My lips twitched like they hadn't in years; I couldn't help it. _My Jiraiya is admittedly very cute when he was pouting like that. . ._

I stopped dead when I realized what I was thinking. Only seventy years as a kunoichi kept me from blushing like a girl fresh from the Academy. _What in the world am I thinking? No! NO! This is not happening. . . So NOT HAPPENING. . . I can't be losing the only bet I ever got into a draw!_ Jiraiya smacked into me and then I really did blush as I tipped dangerously forward. His heat was obvious and even a bit overpowering in the warm summer day it always seemed to be here, besides the few times it rained. So far, it had never snowed in the Neutral Zone. I stiffened when I felt him catch me and put me to rights. Dusting myself off unusually fussily, I snapped, "Baka. Watch where you're going."

_Is it ridiculous to be pleased that my voice didn't shake when I said that?_

Jiraiya just quietly rolled his eyes and stepped away. Not without a light pat to my bottom.

THWACK!

I stomped toward Nawaki, careful not to make craters bigger than a few inches in diameter or to smack the still miraculously intact basket into something. Nawaki winced when he saw Jiraiya behind us. I blew imaginary dust off my fist and released it from ready position. Nawaki sighed, dawdling a little.

"Keep up. You want to go to the Viewing Pond don't you?"

"Yeah. . . But. . ."

"But what?"

"You could be a bit nicer to Jiraiya. . . He's only trying to help Tsunade. He's being silly so you'll laugh."

Irked, I snapped, "Do you call being a pervert being silly?"

"No, but he knows hitting things helps you be less stressed without going on a drinking binge."

I turned my head away guiltily. I knew that Jiraiya had sometimes been both one of my biggest headaches and best stress relievers, but I never knew he actually did it on purpose. . . Still. That was absolutely no excuse for his perverted habits, and I snappishly told Nawaki so.

"Jiraiya followed what the Toad Sage said about him because he didn't feel like he'd ever get you to notice him romantically. Dan just made it worse. Jiraiya wanted to kill Dan for how he left you, and he says he would kill Dan again for doing what he did to you. Jiraiya really loves you! And you love him too Onee chan!"

". . ."

"Onee chan?"

". . ."

Nawaki's voice grew alarmed, "Tsunade?"

". . ."

"ONEE-CHAN!"

". . . I don't believe you."

My voice was flat, emotionless; my face was carefully schooled into a neutral expression. If Nawaki knew what was good for him, he would shut up about that subject for good. I couldn't ever follow my instincts on THAT. It wouldn't be right to Jiraiya. Not after all the hell I'd given him when we were alive. I had never deserved that kind of happiness. I had learned that when Nawaki and Dan died. . . And learned it all over again when Dan had crushed me just a week ago. With the practice of a lifetime, I repressed a shudder threatening to wrack me.

"Whaaaa?"

"Jiraiya doesn't love me. He can't. It was just a damn crush! He was joking when he said th-that! And you know better than to fib like that," I scolded vigorously, wanting to bop him but unable to do so when he gave me that big eyes look. You know, the kind that little brothers give all big sisters to get out of punishments. I lowered my hand and let it drop. Nawaki gave a little sigh as he walked with me. I groaned inwardly at the memory of how my voice had shook and stammered. It wasn't right of me. I shouldn't be feeling this, not after how many times I hurt him.

How I had turned him away on that last chance I ever had to tell him how I'd felt ever since Nawaki died and he had comforted me the very first time.

The bite of fear was not as alien to me as I would have liked. And I was starting to fear that what Nawaki had said was right.

I squeezed my eyes briefly as I walked along, now following Nawaki, who had sped up for some reason. I soon figured out why. Jiraiya was nursing a sore hip when he caught up with us. Apparently I had knocked him over and he'd banged his hip on the way down. _Baka. You know how to dodge my hits. Why do you only dodge when you feel like it then? Augh. . . You can be so confusing..._

Nawaki had gotten distracted, going over to a clutch of his friends playing soccer in the streets. I smiled, shaking my head at him. My little brother could be so cute. I frowned slightly when I noticed the usual group of his friends was minus one or two members. _That's worrying. . ._ Nawaki was doing his best to cheer up the other members of his little group. I smiled, my arm not tired by the picnic basket's weight. One of the advantages to having strength such as mine. Nawaki's laughter rang out loud and pure a soothing sound. Simple and uncomplicated. That's how I liked my men.

Unfortunately, the one I had the luck to get stuck with was a lunkhead of the highest order.

"You know, there have been spirits disappearing around here lately."

I blinked, "Random much Jiraiya? But yes. . . I think some of Nawaki's friends have disappeared. Or they aren't here to play today, at least."

"I don't really know any that have disappeared, but Shodaime-sama and Nidaime-sama are getting worried with the volume of those disappeared. It's getting to be a big problem."

". . . ."

I stayed quiet. To know that both my grandfather and great-uncle were worried was NOT AT ALL a comforting idea.

"Tsunade? Shouldn't we be getting Nawaki over here?"

I almost face palmed. Talking to Jiraiya tended to drive everything else out of my head, whether it was out of annoyance or... Something else I wasn't ready to identify. I DID need to get Nawaki over here or he'd play till sunset.

"NAWAKI! Get your tail over here mister!"

"Coming onee chan! Coming!"

Nawaki raced over, taking my free hand as he gabbled the goings-on in his little group. I tugged him along to get our small caravan moving again. Jiraiya followed us, his solid presence behind me more reassuring than I would ever like to admit.

Eventually, we reached the Viewing Pond. It was peaceful, the only sounds disturbing us being the splashing of the waterfall that fed the pond and the usual noises for a spot so deep in the forest: scrabbling of small animals, the flight of birds and sundry other noises familiar to me from years spent in Konoha. I smiled slightly, finding a large sunny rock a few feet from the water's edge and started setting up. Honestly, I was nervous about my first glimpse of Konoha since I died. I knew they would mourn my death, but was it only because I had been their Hokage? Would anyone besides Shizune truly mourn me?

_Hisako would. Fukan would too. _

I started guiltily. The whole getting used to being dead thing and then. . . THAT. . . had nearly completely driven my last apprentice and adopted daughter from my mind. Sure, I had thought of them a time or two, but not how my death would affect them. Fukan would no doubt retreat farther into his shell, if Hisako didn't stop him. It was likely that Hisako wouldn't feel like grabbing Fukan and getting him out, so it seemed assured. . . _Those two are frighteningly like Jiraiya and I. Albeit Hisako doesn't hit Fukan as much as I hit/kicked/beat up Jiraiya when we were kids. And Jiraiya was certainly no wallflower... _

They had been on a team growing up. It had really been a good idea, I thought, because those two seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. Jiro, their other teammate, and Yoko, their team's sensei, had simply completed the puzzle to me. All four of them had been close to my heart. But I knew Hisako would grieve most, albeit behind closed doors. The girl had adored me.

_You're so selfish! _I refused to wince as I heard Nawaki splashing and Jiraiya yelping curses that normally I would have smacked him into next week for. I didn't feel like it at the moment.

Once I finished, I watched Jiraiya chase my brother, yelling grouchily at him for splashing his already wet robes. My lips twitched upwards in a smile. I hadn't seen such good-hearted silliness in a long, long time. Not since Hisako was just a child and would coax Fukan into the most ridiculous situations she could possibly manage. I snorted softly at the memory. Setting the plates on the cloth, I sat down to watch my two favorite men squabble for a bit. There was grape soda for Nawaki, and ginger ale for the two of us. I figured sake wasn't the best idea with a kid Nawaki's age around. Both of us tended to do extremely stupid things when sake got in our systems. I shook the memories of several particularly stupid things from my head, fishing out the towels I had brought along in the basket. I had had a sneaking suspicion they'd be playing in the water, so I had come prepared.

FLUMP! FLUMP!

"Nawaki! Jiraiya! Dry off and get your tails over here you two!"

Both of them sputtered, nearly identical in their annoyance with the towels I had just thrown in their faces. I smirked slightly as Nawaki gave me a pouty little brother look, but Jiraiya didn't bother with fussing. It seems he had learned some common sense in the Afterlife.

I was forced to look away at what that rascal pulled next, however.

Jiraiya had yanked off his upper clothing, drying his chest vigorously. I still caught glimpses of his bare chest; he seemed so concentrated on drying off it didn't faze him that I had my eyes caught by him. A thudding in my chest I identified as my heartbeat sped up. An uncomfortable heat spread through my veins, a faintly familiar liquid weakness spreading to pool between my legs making my pale cheeks redden.

_No! It's not. . . It can't be. . . Kami he's handsome. . . Damn distracting. . . . Stop staring! He's going to notice soon, baka or not!. . . Kaaami, how long it's been since I saw him without his shirt. . ._

I couldn't believe my wandering thoughts. It was true though. It had been a very long time since I'd seen Jiraiya with his shirt off. His chest was still scarred and looked like he'd been through. . . well, a war. Which he had been. The star like scar from where he had made a very stupid mistake while training Naruto was still there, in pride of place on the center of Jiraiya's chest, even though he had the body he had when he was twenty-something.

_Why didn't he give up his scars when he got a new body? That's just. . . silly. . . Che!. . . Admittedly he's hot with those~!. . . GAH! Don't go there, don't go there! I don't need to- _I cut my thoughts off abruptly. My brain was staring to really hurt.

Nawaki finished drying off first, and plopped down next to me. My little brother without his shirt was much less distracting, so I focused in on him, thankful for the distraction from Jiraiya's physique. I got a sandwich while listening to his prattling.

"Tsunade, today Nana and Freesia are at home. Naoko and George were there, and we could play. Naoko likes to play soccer. . ."

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV**

She was zoning out again. I could feel her eyes on me. I fidgeted slightly; her staring at me like that was starting to make me edgy. Tsunade had never paid that much attention to me in life. It was unnerving to have that piercing amber eyed gaze trained on you like search lights. That was the kind of gaze she had used in interrogation, which she had never had much patience for. Only, something was different. . .

_Am I seeing things or is Tsunade turned on by me?_

Nawaki, thankfully and yet irritatingly at the same time, distracted her again with grousing about her not paying him enough attention. She tugged him into a hug after that, which he protestingly squirmed out of. I was honestly jealous of that little squirt. . . No matter how ridiculous it sounds.

"Onee chan!"

"Don't argue with me, I missed out on too many years of hugging on you. C'mere," Tsunade laughed, tugging Nawaki into another hug.

"Heyyy stoppit! This is embarrassing! Tsuuuunaaaadee!"

I chortled watching the two of them fuss at each other. I had never had siblings, so my teammates were as close as I got to family. Well, them and my students.

Minato was still bursting with pride about his son following in his footsteps, talking my ear off about the kid's progress at every opportunity. Kushina, on the other hand, wasn't speaking to me, even after twenty years since my death. She still felt I had left Naruto without a parental figure at a critical time in her son's life. My smile sobered at the remembrance. Naruto had been so close to being crushed then. I heaved a sigh. It wasn't like I had meant to leave Naruto. The boy had been as good as a grandson to me, just like his father had been the closest thing I had ever gotten to a son. At least my godson had recovered from this, mostly by wreaking his revenge on Pain. I winced when I thought of my former student.

_How did I go so wrong in teaching him?_

My fists clenched ever so slightly. Nagato had gone mad with the lust for power. I had given him a taste of strength when I taught him and his pals Ninjutsu, and he wanted more. I couldn't bear to watch Tsunade and Nawaki's playful sibling arguing anymore. Instead, I looked towards the waterfall with a clenched jaw, seeing every one of my students' faces in the cascade of water. Nagato with those eyes of his, Yahiko with his mop of unruly orange hair, Konan when she smiled up at me. Minato's face as he finally got a hard technique. Naruto. . . His life, his energy and not to mention his stubbornness.

I felt a small form kneel next to me, settling almost on my robes. My eyes were occupied, but I felt a female hand touch my jaw, then cup it. Foggily, I heard familiar, concerned voices. Blinking, I tried to clear my eyes of these visions of the past. Clear my vision of all of the people I had failed so badly over the years. What snapped me out of it fully was a smack on the jaw by the same female hand.

"JIRAIYA!"

"Ow! Tsunade! You didn't have to hit me that hard. . ."

"Yes I did Baka! Or else you would have missed seeing Konoha!

". . ."

"Jiraiya?" Her amber eyes creased in concern. Tsunade almost looked nervous. Even though I knew in life she would have hidden such emotion. She had been all around odd lately, sending me mixed signals galore. . . Or was I just failing to understand? Was it another one of my stupid moments? I honestly didn't know.

The air was knocked out of me when she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me tightly. It had been so long it took me a minute to recognize she was hugging me. Hugging me like she sometimes did when we were kids. One time after a mission we had completed that was particularly difficult, in our combined excitement we had completely forgotten our differences and hugged each other. Once Orochimaru and Sensei had pointed it out, though, we had immediately released each other and I had narrowly avoided a smack from Tsunade. This time though, she buried her face in my robes and was almost cuddling me. I gently petted her hair, uneasy with this sudden switch in behavior. She tilted her face up with a slight smile.

"I forgot how much of a teddy bear you can be when you're not doing something perverted."

I twitched, scowling. _Teddy bear?! _

"I'm not a teddy bear!"

Okay, definently childish, but how else was a guy supposed to respond?

Tsunade laughed, "Then what do you call this cuddling, _teddy bear_?" Mischief danced in her eyes as she smirked up at me.

Blushing uncharacteristically, I just patted her head (to distract myself from the possibilities of kissing that smirk off her face), "A friend trying to help out a friend."

Some veil slipped over Tsunade's eyes at the word friend. _Damn. Have I screwed up yet again? _Then she grinned slightly, climbing off me. I stood up, outstripping my old friend (read lifetime and death time crush) in height by at least a foot. Something that had always irked her, I thought with a slight smile. I wanted to kiss her, so badly it hurt. . . Those soft pink lips I had fantasized about ever since I was a teenager. . . Then I spotted the kid. Nawaki had been gawping at us the whole time. Reddening slightly, I looked away from Nawaki. Somehow I think we both had forgotten the kid was even there.

"Come on! Viewing time Jiraiya!"

Nawaki boldly tugged me and Tsunade both over to the steep pond edge. This thing looked deep. . . I knelt so I could see better. Being tall could sometimes be a real pain in the ass. . . I blinked in surprise at what I saw.

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

My eyes widened. Trust Nawaki to zero in on the person both of us wanted to see the most. Naruto was in the room with his wife, Hinata being asleep. Naruto's bright blue eyes had gone blank and unseeing as he stared out the window of his home, sitting on the window sill. My heart clenched silently when I saw the tears start down his whisker marked cheeks. He drew himself into a ball, as small as he could make himself after growing to nearly Jiraiya's height over the years, on the sill and silently shook. My heart hurt to realize he was completely silent as he convulsed, grieving.

_Is it narcissism to think I rubbed off on the kid- no, the man- far too much? _

The hat of Hokage lay near him on the desk he used to pay bills. Still teary eyed, the blond man glanced over at it and buried his face in his knees again. His shoulders shook with the weight of the responsibility I had left him and grief for. . . me.

"I DIDN'T hate you, Tsunade oba-chan. . ."

Naruto's voice cracked on the oba part. I blinked, trying to hold back the prickling in my eyes. He was truly upset. He grieved for ME, of all people.

"I was just a kid when I said that. . . I didn't really mean it. . . How the hell did you forgive me enough to entrust me with the village after that? Kami. . . I was such a brat. . . I'm sorry Tsunade. . . Now I'll never get to apologize. . ."

I almost reached for him, wanting to comfort him. To make him smile again. Anything to see him happy and laughing as he should be. Then I remembered. He had been there when I died. _Oh Kami. . . I probably scarred the boy for life. . . He had too many scars as is. . ._ Guilt reared its ugly head instantly. I knelt down next to the pond, almost reaching down to the pond's surface, trying to reach out to the boy who had been part of my reason for living for so many years. Then I drew my hand back. I remembered that this was just a viewing pond. _Just one way, baka. You can't comfort him. Not any longer. _Pain pierced my heart anew. _What good is sacrifice if you can't assuage the misery of those left behind? At least I didn't have to be the one standing at anyone else's grave this time. . . . That sounds selfish but I don't think I could have survived many more funerals. . ._

"Tsunade. You can comfort him, you know."

I looked up at Jiraiya in surprise. He had a faint smile of empathy in his eyes. I had a sneaking suspicion this was how I had felt him near so often in my last years of life. So many times I had been convinced out of doing something drastic by the simple feeling of him being near. And the reminder of my duty to the village.

"It's a cold comfort, sure, but you can make your presence known to him. Let me show you."

Jiraiya gently took hold of my hand. His bigger hand, marked by scars and calluses, dwarfed my slender, unmarked one. I felt my cheeks redden against my will. I had never let him hold my hand like that without hitting him at least once because I suspected him of doing something perverted. But this didn't call for it. I didn't know where all my barriers had gone- maybe they had cracked the minute I saw Naruto in such pain. Or maybe even earlier. Jiraiya still held my hand as he placed it, palm down on the water's surface. I tried to resist shivering at the strange sensations on my palm.

"Think of him. How you feel towards him. Channel that feeling through your hands like your channeling chakra, only watch how much you channel, cuz it can get weird if you channel too much, trust me I've done that before and it didn't end well-"

I interrupted his babbling calmly, "Got it. Channel feeling like channeling chakra, watch how much I put into it. I can do that just fine Jiraiya."

Ignoring his disgruntled expression and the fact that he was still holding my hand, I concentrated on the upset man in the window like surface of the pond.

I remembered seeing each of Naruto's children being brought into the world, the joy on his face as he hugged and cuddled his wife after each delivery, no matter how tired he was after staying up for hours during her labor. How eagerly and earnestly he celebrated each birthday party, clowning around on purpose just to make his children laugh. Heck, Naruto had even coaxed some of the Mount Myoboku Toads to join him on several occasions. Sometimes he would clown for no particular reason other than to make his children happy, and to help relieve the burdens of wartime on both himself and Hinata. Even farther back, how Naruto's ambition and hope had reminded me of those I had lost. Naruto's powerful hope had re-lighted my own fire when it had burned at its very lowest. I felt that fire inside even now. I closed my eyes as a smile slipped easily over my face. So, I channeled the warm feelings into my palm and felt them leak through my fingers into the water. I also felt Jiraiya's emotion- a calming wave of emotion compared to my need to remind him I didn't hate him- weaving between my fingers and mixing with the warm tide I sent Naruto's way.

Naruto's head snapped up, blue eyes wide as he looked around. His lips twitched into a smile as he pressed his hand onto his chest, over his heart. Naruto took in and released a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he smiled up at the ceiling.

"Thank you. . . Pervy Sage, don't give up on Oba-chan, okay?" The exasperating boy gave a big grin at the ceiling, "Oba-chan, you promised you'd give him a chance. Please do, okay? You two really need to quit dancing around each other. Especially now that you're gone."

Both of our cheeks reddening, we removed our hands and looked away from each other. Naruto's grinning face dissolved moments later. I heard Nawaki chuckling and my cheeks reddened further.

"You scamp! Get back here," I yelled, running after Nawaki.

He yelped and started running. I heatedly chased him for several minutes before I finally caught him, tickling him soundly. Suffice to say, there was a lot of squealing and laughing before I finally gave Nawaki mercy. Jiraiya was laughing at the both of us the whole time. Finally, Nawaki and I exchanged a look. Jiraiya blanched, knowing what we were planning. He started running the moment Nawaki and I stood up. We moved together into a pincher movement around Jiraiya, Nawaki cutting off one way while I grabbed my old teammate's wrist with mischief in mind. We herded an extremely recalcitrant Jiriaya toward the water's edge. I lifted Jiraiya with a little help with Nawaki and. . . A-one, A-two. . .

Three!

SPLASH!

* * *

**I love cliffies :D This will really heat up in coming chapters, I promise! What do you think of the JirTsu fluffiness and the sibling teamwork? I love the part where they throw Jiraiya into the water myself XD What was your favorte part of this chappie?**

**40 REVIEWS! WOOOOO WOOOOO! I can't fricking believe it this is SO awesome! :'D thanks everyone who reviewed! **

**Please leave a review! I'm trying to get to 100 by the time this story ends (Although I dont think the end is in sight just yet).**

**Los of love and cookies to reviewers**

**-June**


	13. Chapter 12

**Heavy duty LEMON (Lemon=sexual scene) in this chapter**

* * *

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Twelve

I shrieked as Jiraiya pulled me into the water with him. Kicking and sputtering, I swam away from him, coughing as I collected my wits. Shaking my wet head, I turned to glare at Jiraiya. The effect was likely spoiled by the fact I had (most unwisely) decided to wear a white shirt today. . .

And I had no bra.

Jiraiya was staring at my breasts with a hunger even he couldn't hide. His hands twitched faintly under the water. For some reason, I couldn't get mad like I should have. Instead, I felt my body warm under his stare and my nipples tighten. _Damn! Traitorous body. . . Why is he staring at me like that? Got to hit him. . . Don't feel like it. . . Why do I feel like I want to jump him? _The arousal rising in me almost overwhelmed my common sense as I stared back at him. His wet clothes clung to him in a most enticing way. . . Before I realized what I was doing, I was swimming over to him.

He met me half way with one smooth stroke, muscled arms flexing as he tread water. Jiraiya reached out, arms half encircling me. I willingly moved into his embrace, left curious by the idea of him and me in water. And what naughty, naughty things we could do to each other in the water. His lips descended on mine and I didn't protest. I was too busy tasting him.

The sound of the waterfall in the back ground only heightened the needy sensations spreading wetly throughout my body. One of his hands lightly caressed over my back, sending bolts of heat spiraling through me. I fitted my body to his, feeling his erection in my belly with some degree of womanly satisfaction. I'd managed to get him hot even in this cool water. . . My hands slid with some effort under his wet clothing. I caressed his bare skin, eliciting a shudder of need from him. I felt his cock harden satisfyingly under me. His arms wrapped around me as, with a grunt, he pulled us from the water. I landed on top of him, groaning as his tongue probed deep into my mouth even as I was the one on top.

Only one word came to mind at this.

Bliss. . .

* * *

**Nawaki's POV**

Big sister and Jiraiya were already making out. And more, from the glance I had thrown over my shoulder moments ago. So this was what Oba-chan meant when she said they really loved each other. Even if they squabbled a whole lot. I smiled as I tip-toed away, trying not to look at their making out. Even if it was kind of cool to see them together, finally.

It had taken matchmaking meddling from almost everyone in our family to get them here. My smile got bigger and I repressed a giggle. All it had taken to get them kissing was Jiraiya pulling her into the aph-aph. . . APHRODISIAC-laced water with him. The medicine Grandma had put it the water earlier would have both of them needing each other so bad it might hurt. They had so much romantic tension between them it wasn't hard to get big sister to give into temptation (especially with the love medicine seeping through their pores). I padded silently into the trees surrounding the pond I had picked. I knew the picnic stuff would be okay; nobody stole stuff in the land of the dead. Or, nobody had done so in the years I had been here. I raced around the trees, tapping each sealing tag me and Grandma had placed to activate them.

I agreed with what Oba-chan had said, after seeing them kiss even as Jiraiya pulled them out of the water. These two belonged together.

Hopefully I wouldn't need to keep an eye on these two this time to make sure it happened right.

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

I lay on top of Jiraiya, completely missing the fact that my little brother had, with the speed of a true ninja, snuck away without being noticed by either of us. I pressed my hips needingly to his erection. I hadn't felt this overwhelming need in years. . . _I need him inside me. . . Like I've needed no one else, ever. . . _Unbidden, the thought came into my mind _I died when I lost you. . ._I fisted my hands into his hair, unable to let go of the kiss I had been longing for far too long. Unfortunately, Jiraiya had more control than me. _Wow. Things you never thought you'd say. . ._

With a reluctant moan, he lifted my lips from his by lifting my upper half. Unfortunately for him, that meant my lower body placed more weight on his erection. He jerked slightly but held strong. I made a protesting noise. I didn't want to be separated. Onyx eyes stared up at me, a haze filming over them. His voice raspy, pleading, "I don't want this out of guilt. Or pity. Or spite for HIM. Do you want me for me?"

My eyes filled. _Kami. I've been sending him so many confusing signals and given him so much hell. . . It's a wonder he hasn't given up on me over the years he's chased me. _I leaned back over, my breasts pressing into and overfilling even his large hands as he tried to stop me. I softly kissed his lips, then drew back.

"Is that answer enough for you Jiraiya? I want you. Simply you. Hell, I don't WANT you." A look of confusion flashed over his face before I finished, "I NEED you. . ."  
Jiraiya eagerly kissed me then. His experienced hands roamed over me, stroking over my still clad hips and warming my chilled skin. He came up for air long enough to slide my sopping shirt off, with a bit of help from me as he turned me over, so my back was to his chest.

I was, honestly, wary about this. He'd made so many grabs for my breasts it was going against the grain even now to feel his large, warm hands caress my more than ample breasts. I shuddered, a warm feeling spreading tingles through me. He was gentle as he stroked over my breasts, fondling them at length and teasing over the nipples. Apprehension vanished in the face of his touch, trailing fire over my body and making my nipples tighten. I hissed in pleasure, arching into his touch and a moan escaping me against my will. I heard a soft but audible noise of male satisfaction as Jiraiya carefully caressed over my stomach. Shuddering a bit as the fire building within me started to grow larger, I flipped over and started to kiss him, unable to stand it anymore. I moaned into his lips, knitting my hands into his hair.

My eyes closed as I moaned, the tears overflowing my eyes and dripping. I felt his hand caress my cheek, gently detaching us. Concerned black eyes, a little foggy with the lust both of us were feeling acutely, searched my face.

Huskily, I said, "I'm happy Jiraiya. . . That I can finally show how I've felt about you since forever. . ."

I leaned over and softly kissed behind his ear, a sensitive spot for him. I was rewarded with a slight shiver passing through his tall frame and a repressed groan. I started to caress his jaw with my tongue and lips, enjoying the responses I got. Especially the one that involved him cupping my ass and squeezing. I purred happily, squirming over his growing erection. He grunted, shifting and hands sliding my sopping pants off. I started to take liberties with him after this, sliding his vest off and my hands starting to roam under his kimono.

Fumblingly he helped me, sliding off his short kimono at last. My hands roamed over him, caressing the pecs I had craved for SO long. . . I started to kiss my way down his neck to his pecs. Arousal was growing and growing, making it hard to see straight. . . My breathing roughened, my tongue started to explore his mouth. He resisted a moment, keeping his lips together. Then, something about him loosened. His lips parted as his tongue danced with mine. His hands caressed me, but there was a sort of gentleness to him that I'd never known. His touch was completely unhurried, which just heated me up even more. . .

I growled softly, sliding my hands down to his erection. He grunted softly, swelling under my stroking. I smiled slightly as I started to kiss his abs, adding in a lick or two. He shuddered slightly, his hands cupping my left breast. I purred under his touch, releasing the stroking then squirming up him so he could feel me better. Jiraiya groaned, caressing my breasts, obviously luxuriating in the feel. I yelped softly when I felt his lips descend on my nipple, his mouth taking as much as he could handle. Then he began to suck.

I almost climaxed right there from the warm wetness on my sensitized nipple, and what with the caresses he was giving the other nipple, I might just climax without him inside me. A little bit of female pride reared its head. I WOULD make him come first. I squirmed loose of his hold, trying to ignore his slightly disappointed noise as I licked over my fingertips. I slid a little lower on his hot, hard body, getting my grip back on his cock. I began to return to the caresses before, with my fingers wetted.

"Tsunade. . . Woman, you're gonna. . ." He moaned, cock bobbing in my hand as I started to speed up the caresses. There was something that turned me on, just seeing him naked before me and fully aroused. I moaned softly at the sight, feasting my eyes on him hungrily. My own body was soaked and aching, aching like it hadn't done in years, but I wanted to see him satisfied. To put him first, for once.

There was no warning as he grabbed me, crushing me to him needfully. His kiss was hot and rough, making my need spike further. I groaned, wiggling my hips over his erection. He grabbed my hips quickly, freezing them in place as I felt him penetrate me. I yowled pleasuredly as I felt him start to thrust. My body arched into his, my arms clutching onto his shoulders as I felt myself rising dizzyingly towards climax.

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV**

I growled, hardening to nearly breaking point inside her as I felt her sheath clench heatedly about my cock. _No! Not yet! I can't come yet! _Somehow, some way, I managed to keep myself from coming as she climaxed. I was nearly beyond the hope I wasn't hurting her as I thrust deeper and faster, managing to keep it relatively smooth. Her caresses had very nearly undone me. But I wouldn't come that quickly. Not for nothing had I had all those sexual encounters throughout my life. Tsunade bit down hard on my shoulder, an unexpected surge of pleasure coming swiftly on its heels. She loosed her teeth's grip as she arched in climax. I watched her face as she came, trying to memorize every detail. She hadn't uttered a sound, but I knew to read her by different means.

I groaned seeing her face. From what I saw through need-blurred eyes, she was completely blissful. What warmed me to the core was that she had fixed her eyes on my face the entire time.

I muffled my roar of completion in a searing kiss on her lips as I came.

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

I moaned into his lips as I felt his coming inside of me. My body automatically arched into his on top of mine, his release coming on one of the aftershocks of my first orgasm in too damn long. My eyes were closed as I just breathed. His lips slid off me as he eased us down. _He can still function after that orgasm? Wow. . .Things you never thought you'd say. . . But he is damn competent. . . And handsome. . . Gah, I'm drif-. . . _I didn't even finish the thought. I was just too tired. The good kind of tired, of course. My eyes fluttered weakly as he eased me up, still joined to him. I muffled a soft groan in his shoulder as he moved us into somewhere that was in shadow. I felt him gently move himself out of me, with a soft grunt of pain. I groaned, not liking the empty feeling his exit left me with. I was glad I was still cuddled to his heat, however. Until I felt something wet atop my head. I tilted my chin up, only to see something MOST unexpected.

Jiraiya was crying.

"Was I that bad?" I asked muzzily, gently wiping at his eyes with my fingers. With those red streaks under his eyes it always looked as if he was crying blood. Which still unnerved me, even as I knew he couldn't bleed out anymore.

"No!. . . Jeez Tsunade. . ."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm happy is all. . . Go to sleep. . ."

I yawned drowsily, nestling my head against his chest. I trusted him to tell me what was wrong when something was wrong. His heartbeat was slowly returning to its normal pace, and his hand settled over my ass while the other stroked through my hair tenderly. I smiled drowsily. Sex with Jiraiya had been. . . well, only one word for it: amazing. I couldn't believe what I had missed during my life. Refusing to let the thoughts of HIM nagging at my head in, I snuggled closely to Jiraiya, letting his scent and warmth envelope me. With Jiraiya, I was perfectly safe. He would never hurt me. Not on purpose, anyway. With that pleasing thought, I heard his heartbeat slow to a normal rate. It was so soothing to listen to. . .

That was when I fluttered out of consciousness.

* * *

_**The Morning After...**_

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

I wake up drowsily to morning light shining on the back of my head and an extremely sore feeling between my legs. Groaning grumpily, I burrowed deeper into the warm flesh next me. Which was when the remembrance of what I had been doing last time I was awake hit me. My eyes snapped open, but, strangely. . . I could feel no regret for what I had done with Jiraiya. I felt lighter than I had felt in more than fifty years. Despite the soreness between my thighs, I was happy that Jiraiya and I had joined like this. I shivered a little when I remembered his searing kiss at the end. I still couldn't quite believe the fact that he had still wanted me, even after all the years of torment I had put him through. Granted, sometimes the punches were deserved (he was being a pervert, I couldn't let him get away with it), but the rejections, at some point, hadn't been so nesscesary.

I sighed softly, snuggling into his warm arms. I would remember yesterday forever. . . A warm feeling in my chest rose. A warm feeling that took a while to identify. Contentment? No, too strong for contentment. Joy? It didn't feel quite that strong. . . What was the word for it? . . . Right. I remembered the name of this warm, soft feeling.

Happiness.

Sweet happiness.

And Jiraiya had given it to me. My lips came upward in a smile.

I could believe he loved me now. He had freed my heart from its tailspin after Dan had left me by this simple act of love. I chuckled softly, growing a little drowsy again as I nestled closer to Jiraiya. He had given me back the ability to really love. . . And I owed him eternity for that. And, in all honesty, I didn't mind one bit.

_When did my feelings for him grow from disgust to friendship? When did he steal my heart from inside of me? I don't think I'll ever know the answer, not really. Jiraiya is just like that. Weird, funny and sweet. Well, he has annoying moments, but don't we all have those? _I snuggled deeper into Jiraiya, not bothering to freeze when I felt rather than heard him grunt sleepily. His scent was warm and masculine, a mixture of foreign spices and wood smoke. I drowsed comfortably on top of him as his shifting about ceased gradually. I could hear his breathing slip back into sleep mode, and I smiled quietly. Appreciating no disturbances, I moved to straddle his hips and started softly kissing him awake.

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV**

I grunted softly as I came awake. I felt the press of her soft lips on mine and a pleasured noise escaped my lips without my consent. I seemed to be doing a lot of things the somewhat more rational side of my brain would normally never let me do. Then again, maybe I had gone crazy. Because I swear I was sent to the Neutral Zone, but her lips and breasts on my chest felt like heaven. My hands roamed to her breasts, the warm, ample flesh overfilling my hand. It was a goods weight though. I lightly played with her nipple, rubbing a thumb over it until she moaned. Smiling, I lowered my lips and kisses her. She tilted her mouth up, her tongue industriously exploring my mouth, caressing my tongue with hers.

Her hips ground against mine, and I got hard. FAST. Too fast, dammit. I wasn't coming until she did. _Hmmm. . . I wonder. . . I've heard that some women can orgasm with just breast play. . . _I hardened at the idea. First, I'd have to figure out if she was up for it. Fondling a breast with one hand, I trailed my hands down her stomach lightly, returning to her breasts after a bit of teasing. She trembled at the touch, moaning loudly into our still unbroken kiss. Her arms wrapped securely around my shoulders, her hands stroking over the skin of my neck and spine, sending thrills of fire straight to my cock. I grunted softly, gently breaking our kiss. Her eyes were a tawny gold and lust filled, as well as a tad grumpy at me for breaking the kiss up. I smiled. I loved how her good and bad emotions showed when she was aroused. _Kami do I love this woman. . . _I caressed her cheek before I managed to gather my wits to speak.

"I've heard some women can orgasm from breast stimulation alone. . . Are you game?"

She smiled, a sultry invitation. Tsunade leaned forward, her teeth delicately nibbling on my bottom lip and her tongue caressed over the nips, soothing the pain. I caressed over her breasts softly, hardening more than usual at caressing the warm flesh I had ogled so many times in life. Her nipples were tight and pebbly, tempting me to roll them around between my forefinger and thumb. A moan and shudder of arousal was the reward I got for simply brushing my thumb over one nipple. The other, however, remained tantalizingly devoid of touch.

I could sense a round two coming on. . .

* * *

**Hey! ^^' I'm sorry I took so long! Hey, at least I managed to update. So what do you think of my first lemon? I know the ending is kind of weird but I couldn't think of any other way to end it. What do you think of my first full lemon? I hope it was as good as in the earlier chapters... Please review! I'll update as soon as I can everyone! I hope you liked this chapter ^^ **

**-June**


	14. Chapter 13

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Thirteen

I woke luxuriously to the feeling of a warm body spooning mine. I smiled, squirming around to see the now familiar broad chest rising and falling regularly. I smiled as I carefully flexed sore arms, trying not to wake up my white haired lover. _My lover. _The words felt good in my mind as I snuggled closer to his chest, feeling sexy and still a little bit sleepy. I sighed softly, absently rubbing my cheek on his pecs. Have I mentioned that he smells amazing?

It had been a week since that first two-rounds of sex, and still I felt absolutely no regret. In fact, I felt more free than I had in all my life time. I smiled, nuzzling his chest comfortably. I loved the feeling of waking up next to someone. I wiggled loose of his arms, intending to make us both breakfast. I had taken my own advice and gotten a few cooking lessons from Mito.

Now I could actually make a decent breakfast without burning down the kitchen. . . Shaking my head to clear it of memories of very, very embarrassing situations, I slid from the bed. I heard an annoyed grunt and looked back. Jiraiya was (still asleep mind you) pawing about, seeming as if he were looking for me. _Right. I forgot he hates me leaving the bed without him. . . _I kissed his forehead, making him grunt softly and start pawing again. I chuckled softly, slipping to the closet. Dressing in a bathrobe for now, I leisurely walked toward the shower.

Smiling happily, I slid the robe off as I started the shower. It was bigger than I was used to, because it was Jiraiya's shower. We normally spent time at my apartment, but last night his place had been closer. Luckily, I hadn't drunk much so I didn't have the hangover I had become so used to over the years. Now, it was very easy to ignore the comparatively slight ache in my head as I stepped into the blast of hot water. Groaning in relief, I nabbed a washcloth and lathered it with the soap I kept over here.

_We've only been together a week and I have wash stuff at his house. . . Well, does that say how close we've gotten this fast?_ I sighed as I rubbed the scented body wash over myself, washing away the soreness but not the memory of last night. I smiled and shivered a bit. Jiraiya had been. . . well, amazing. After all the hell I put him through, even after what I had done that I could never have taken back, he still forgave me. I smiled a little wider as I rubbed the last of the shampoo from my hair under the spray of warm water.

With a bit of reaching, I turned it off when done. I stepped out, wincing as the cold tile hit my toes and grabbing the enormous, fluffy towel on the towel rack. Wrapping it around myself, I sighed in relief as I got some insulation from the air condition. Being so near Jiraiya all the time had its downsides- like being unusually sensitive to cold after he/you leaves his presence.

I slipped out of the bathroom, padding silently into the bedroom. _Jiraiya would be on me sooo fast if he was awake. . .Tee-Hee. . . _I toweled off and dressed in my usual clothes. Pinning my hair back, I smiled as I dressed in my usual outfit. Spirits could just snap their fingers and clothes would appear and disappear, but both Jiraiya and I disliked this method. I padded out of the bedroom, glad to see Jiraiya still asleep- although with a troubled expression on his face. I frowned briefly; hoping that my contribution would make up for leaving bed early- _Wow, things_ _I never thought I'd say- _I made my way to the kitchen. I opened the windows with a flourish, enjoying the breeze the open kitchen windows gave.

Grabbing down ingredients, I cussed irritably when I realized I couldn't reach the pancake mix. And that was the one thing I'd practiced and practiced on too. . . _Erg. Stupid short genes. . . I don't think Jiraiya has a step ladder. He's so darn tall he doesn't need one. . . Drat, drat, drat. _The pancake mix was near the back on the top shelf. If it had been any closer to the front, I might have reached it. But no, Jiraiya had to make it too damn close to the back. . .

Something warm leaned against me as a very familiar scarred hand reached out and grabbed the pancake mix for me. Blushing silently, I looked up to see Jiraiya grinning down at me. Huffing a bit, irritated that he had to get it down for me, I said, "Good morning Jiraiya."

"Trying to surprise me?"

My pale cheeks staining further, I nodded. I had really wanted to show off the cooking skill I had managed to learn both from Mito and my own life experience. I had been able to make a halfway decent meal in life- well, decent meaning edible. Mito had taught me some other points recently that I was rather eager to try out.

"Well, hey, this just means we can cook together," Jiraiya said, grinning at me and snuggling his body to mine. That was when I realized he was completely naked and his morning hard on was quite there. I grinned up at him, blush receding somewhat as I lightly took his hand.

"Yeah, but you need something on. I don't like you being on display just as much as you hate me being on display," I said, lightly jerking my free thumb towards the all too open windows we were in front of. To his credit, a faint pink blush spread over Jiraiya's cheeks. He snuggled me a bit closer reflexively.

"Yeah, well, you're blocking anybody from seeing me right now," he said rather smugly, so sure he'd won the argument.

"Well, I'll have to move if you want me to cook, and you will too if you want to make something. . ."

Jiraiya huffed, "Point taken." He grinned goofily and grabbed an apron. It barely covered the necessities, but it made me want to laugh out loud seeing Jiraiya in any sort of apron- even if it was just a plain white one. So I did.

After my giggle fit stopped, I grinned at Jiraiya, "Sorry, it just feels so silly to see you in an apron of all things. . . You swore you'd never wear one again after that baking incident on one of our genin missions. I remember when you got that hot chocolate all over yourself when it boiled over. . ."

This triggered another giggle fit as I remembered Jiraiya, cross and soaked, yelling at me for not watching the kettle closely enough. We had been babysitting, and it was near Christmastime. Asuma, our sensei's kid and the one we were babysitting, had asked for a cup of hot cocoa. Apparently even the Legendary Sannin couldn't make cocoa without squabbling, because Jiraiya and I had tried to make a cup jointly. _That was an epic fail for both of us. . . Orochimaru had to make the cocoa while we two were bickering over who's fault the whole incident was. _Jiraiya grimaced at the memory.

"I had burns that lasted a full week afterward. That one was your fault you know. . ."

"No it wasn't! You were the one who dropped the kettle and splashed yourself, baka!"

"Who let it get so hot that it boiled over and I had to take it off?"

I blushed when I remembered, "This is the problem. We know too much about each other to ever blackmail each other. . ."

Jiraiya chortled, grinning, "Oh, Tsuki, I know plenty of incidents where you and only you are to blame."

"Like when?!"

"Remember a certain training session when you got your mens-" I smacked my hand over his mouth before he could complete the word, blushing brightly.

"Don't even remind me. That only caught me once, though. You got caught dozens of times with your pants down. Even on missions."

"Geez. You're never gonna let me forget that are you?" Jiraiya mumbled around my hand. I removed it.

I grinned slightly, "You know I wouldn't be me if I did. One particular time was a major mistake on my part though. . ."

"Tsunade! Let's not get into that one. . . She dumped me after your pranks."

"Oh, MY pranks? How about you letting her caught with her panties off? By Orochimaru, no less. He was probably scarred for life."

Jiraiya went tomato red, "Tsunade!"

Inwardly, I winced. _Maybe I went too far with mentioning our old teammate. . . I haven't seen him, so I assume he's paying for his deeds or. . . _A chill of horror went through me. _Maybe someone released him and he's attacking Konoha right now. . . Dammit! This day started out so positive too! Kami. . . Why did I have to go and mention that asinine snake? _I fidgeted silently as I looked away from Jiraiya, ashamed of myself. I refused to show it except for this, however. I wouldn't let him see my embarrassment…

"Tsuki. . . Look at me. . ."

Against my will, my head tilted and I looked sideways at him. He was grinning goofily moments before he swooped down and kissed me. I was surprised to say the least. Jiraiya placed one of his hands on my cheek, the other large hand strayed around my waist. I kissed back eagerly, my body responding as it was now accustomed to do at his touch. Unfortunately, we were interrupted by the growl of our stomachs. I flushed, gently breaking the kiss and blushing deeply. Jiraiya was blushing a bit too as he spoke, "Breakfast first."

I grinned cheekily, "And more later?"

Jiraiya grinned goofily back at me, "You know it."

We started getting things down. Somehow, even though we hadn't done this before, we fell into a rhythm as we started making things. I handed Jiraiya the ingredients as he made things, occasionally trading banter and talking about the little things. I smiled, albeit a little sadly.

_Look well on what you missed Tsunade. . . You could have had him all along if it hadn't been for your stubbornness on paying your respects to the faithless dead. _

Shaking my head to get rid of mopey thoughts, I grinned as Jiraiya wrapped his arms around me. I stood on my tiptoes a bit as he leaned down to kiss me, shortening the distance between us a little. It was slightly exasperating to have a lover taller than you. He slid his hands under my shirt, lightly fondling my breasts. I had no bra again- my breasts were normally held up by chakra since I had an extremely hard time finding bras in my size that actually supported. I enjoyed the feeling for a few moments, then allowed him to remove my shirt.

Breakfast could wait.

I removed his shirt with no preamble, staring at the scars that still marred his big frame. He had chosen to keep the scars of his past life; why, I don't know. However, I could guess. I got the feeling he didn't want to forget a second of the life he'd led. Those scars were the only part of him that he could keep that reminded him of his life.

Besides me, now. I knew we would remind each other- if only in bickering sessions like the one today. We wouldn't let each other forget. It just wasn't in our natures to forget- as evidenced by how long I mourned for Dan and how Jiraiya could never seem to let go of me. Even if it probably would have been better for him to give up on me, to let me be lost to the world in a haze of drink and gambling, Jiraiya had never given up on me. And for that I was highly grateful.

I gave a soft gasp as he caressed my nipples. All the fondling beforehand had never brushed them, leaving them sensitized and needy of his touch. Moaning softly, I arched under his caress. Jiraiya had evidently forgotten to close the window until now, as faintly over my arousal I heard window blinds snapping down and the stove turning off. One arm remained around me as my knees gave out, the need to have him inside me growing overwhelming. Gathering my wits, I started to trace random shapes over his pecs, interspersing it with a kiss or two along his chest.

Playfully using my tongue to trace the well-defined muscle, I smiled in a sultry manner up at Jiraiya. The fabric of his pants rubbed as I pressed my breasts lightly to the growing erection I found there. A male grunt escaped him, his arms tightening a little on my shoulders where they had migrated when I had gone lower. His eyes had hazed over a little with the same need mirroring my own. While he was distracted, I managed to loosen his pants just enough to slip my hand in. Jiraiya made a choked noise, and before I knew what was happening he pulled me up into an embrace.

My body hot and soaked, I groaned against his lips crushing into mine. _Get the teasing over with! _However, all I could do was wrap my arms around him to cling closer.

Both of us were startled out of the kiss when we heard the knock at the door.

I growled, scowling as Jiraiya let me down. Flustered and still aroused, I gathered my shirt as Jiraiya did the same, sliding the cotton tee on quicker than I could with my usual outfit. Struggling a bit, I blushed slightly when Jiraiya helped me get my shirt on quicker. I stomped to the door as Jiraiya started dishing out the finished food.

_Whoever interrupted us BETTER have a good reason for pulling this crap. . . I swear if it's Nawaki I'm going to smack him back to Grandfather's house…_ However, opening the door revealed my grandfather with a troubled expression on the other side. A chill went through me abruptly. _Not good… What happened?_

"Come in Grandfather. . ." He came in, still silent. I was starting to get chilled by the upset expression when Grandmother Mito came in after him. Her eyes were red and it looked like she'd been crying.

"It's good to see you Tsunade. . . I wish it could have been under better circumstances," Grandfather said softly, his dark eyes upset.

"Wh-what's going on? Why have you been crying Grandmother?"

Mito said, tears starting again, "It's Nawaki . . ."

_No! Please tell me he's okay. . ._ I remained frozen. That sounded far, far too much like the night I had lost my brother for the first time. The memory flashed back, clear as day. They had told me he was dead, with pity in their eyes and gestures. I hadn't wanted pity from the start. I just wanted my little brother to be okay, despite their lying words. I had pushed past Jiraiya when he tried to stop me.

How I regretted doing that.

His body had been so mangled I hadn't gotten it out of my mind for months, even years afterwards. I woke up screaming every night for months afterwards. Sometimes the nightmares haunted me as many as fifty years after the event. I had begun to sleep through the nightmares at least. Now every bit of the old pain and fear rose at the sights and sounds.

"What's wrong with Nawaki?"

His voice. The one who had anchored me in the worst of situations. I suppressed a childish impulse to turn and bury my face in his chest. To hide away from all the old pain. Hiccupping slightly, I spoke, "Tell me. Don't you damn dare sugarcoat it Hashirama. I can and will take it."

"Nawaki has vanished."

My lingering arousal died a quick, painful death immediately.

"You did check his hiding places? This couldn't just be a sulky fit?"

Mito, upset, snapped, "Of COURSE we checked! Do you think we wouldn't?! Nawaki is our precious grandson!"

"He obviously wasn't precious enough for you to save him the first time!"

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Hashirama interceded for his wife at Tsunade's cutting remark, "Hey, no one could have saved the boy that time. Not even you."

I saw Tsunade's fist clench. _Damn. She still suffers over that. . . _ My heart ached, not only for Tsunade but their grandparents. Mito was near tears, scrubbing angrily at her eyes, and Hashirama had a grim expression as if he were trying to resist hitting something. Tsunade's eyes had lit up like they always did when she was emotional, but her teeth were gritted and she was keeping her mouth shut- for now. _How had a morning that started out so happily get to this this quickly? _

I gently grasped Tsunade's hand- or, rather, fist. She looked up at me with an expression that made my heart hurt. Her eyes were a mixture of hurt, loss and that burning willpower that had sustained her in the world of the living.

I gently squeezed, her small fist being no great obstacle to this. Even though her punches hurt like hell, it took both hands for her to hold one of mine. Tsunade relaxed that hand, letting her more delicate digits twine with my own. She had obviously relaxed some, but her free hand was still in a fist. I couldn't blame her; her little brother was among those who had disappeared without a trace. I was worried too, but showing it would only make Tsunade's bad mood worse.

"Alright, how about we all calm down and eat something? We've got breakfast."

Tsunade gave me a _Twit! _Look, but I ignored it. It was rather easy to ignore when I'd been getting those looks or "Baka!" from her most of our lives. I smiled a bit when Mito calmed some, saying, "Hashi, I suppose we could have breakfast. . ."

Hashirama, smart man that he is, agreed quickly with his wife. We all sat down, me still holding Tsunade's hand. Her cheeks flushed just slightly as she tugged ineffectively at my grip. I loosened my grip, allowing her to get both hands free to serve herself. The breakfast went well, mostly because the Senjus stayed quiet; unwilling to make more of a scene, Tsunade avoided looking at her Grandfather or Grandmother through the whole thing.

It was a distinctly uncomfortable silence, but I didn't know how to break it. Tsunade was well versed in conversational pleasantries; me on the other hand, I was just as blunt as Tsunade chose to be.

_Tsunade never liked following rules, but I guess the habit's there from when she was Hokage and heir to the Senjus. . . Me, I was never great with people- especially males. Not so great with girls either, but better at dealing with them than other guys. One of the many reasons I became a hermit. People are annoying as all hell._

I finished the last of my food, noticing the Senjus had finished a few moments earlier. I grinned, trying to ease the tension. _Feels like you can cut the air with a knife. . . Geez. . . _I started taking up plates, Tsunade automatically staying my hand.

"I'll do it Jiraiya."

"With you as tense as you are? Don't think so. You'll break the plates."

Tsunade's face reddened, and she growled defensively, "I am not tense! Just worried! I won't break the damn plates..."

"Seriously Tsunade, you know your strength gets a little haywire when you're upset."

"I WILL BE FINE!"

I winced at the decibel level of the yell. Tsunade was brandishing a fist under my nose, glaring irritably up at me. I put my hands up, grinning jokily- hoping it would hold off her wrath for a few more seconds. What surprised me most was hoarse laughter from the other side of the room. Both of us looked over to see Hashirama Senju laughing up a storm, trying to hold it in with a hand over his mouth and failing miserably. I was honestly struck dumb for a few minutes straight. Apparently, so was Tsunade. Mito was more successful in containing her laughter, her eyes sparkling with thinly disguised glee. I was confused as to why they were laughing.

"G-grandmother? Why are you. . ."

"Oh dear, sorry about that you two," Mito sputtered, grinning, "You remind us both of what it was like early in our marriage to each other. We were always squabbling about the littlest things. . ."

Hashirama nodded, too breathless to comment further. Tsunade's cheeks had turned tomato red, and her fists were opening and closing like she wanted to hit something. Or someone. I instinctively took a step aside from her. I didn't want to get hit- despite the fact that this was SO not my fault, Tsunade tended to use me as a punching bag. . .

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXX

I sighed. Smiling now felt like I was betraying Nawaki- who I had abruptly remembered after calming down a little. I sighed, my head lowering slightly. _Nawaki, this had better not be a prank. I can't believe you'd pull such a thing as this, but still. . . Jiraiya could have rubbed off. . ._ I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose. Time to organize a search-and rescue.

And if my little brother was alright after this whole mess, I didn't really know whether I would scold him, hit him, or just cuddle the dratted brat while scolding him for running off. If he wasn't alright. . . _Don't think like that dammit. Nawaki is FINE. Nawaki is just playing a trick on us for kicks. _I repeated the mantra in my head for a few moments, focusing on my breathing.

"Tsunade, let's search his hiding places again. We might have missed something," Hashirama admitted, looking at me with those level dark eyes. He almost never lost his cool, which had given me a slight inferiority complex towards him. I could barely manage to keep my own temper at times, much less soothe raw tensions in a Kage meeting or even a meeting with my own elders. With a sigh, I nodded unhappily.

"Hai. Who to where?"

"Mito-chan can check the house again, and I'll check the place he hangs out with his friends."

"Why do I check the house?"

"You have the keys to it sweetheart," Hashirama reminded Mito. She pinked a little.

"Right. Silly of me to forget."

"We'll check the viewing ponds then the marketplace. Sound good Shodai-sama?"

Hashirama chuckled faintly, waving a hand in a dismissive manner at Jiraiya.

"Stop calling me that. I lost that title when I died, Jiraiya. Besides," my grandfather had a mischievous look in his eyes, "Besides, your practically family as it is."

I had rarely, if ever, seen Jiraiya blush. Modesty and my lover were strangers, but his face was doing a spot-on impression of a tomato at my Grandfather's comment. My lips couldn't help but twitch upward. _What Nawaki would give to have seen that. . . _Shaking my head, I refocused on my reason for not being in bed with Jiraiya right now. We needed to find Nawaki. Quick.

"Alright, everyone got the plan?"

A chorus of "Hai"s ran round. I worked on taming my unruly focus back into a focused, precise knife. _I've got to stay calm. I can't go haring off into a temper tantrum, not right now. Nawaki needs me._

"It's time to go then._"_

We exited the house. Jiraiya was still holding my hand, and for that I was very grateful. Silently- in true ninja form- each of us dispersed to the chosen locations. Even as Jiraiya was holding my hand to distract me, I couldn't help the thought that intruded into my head.

_My little brother's eternity could depend on this. _

No damn pressure.

* * *

**I finally updated! Weeeeee! I hope the long wait has been worth it! :) I got grounded for a while there so I couldn't work on this. But it was driving me crazy that I had gotten up to 49 reviews, and I was just dying to hit 50. XD Highest review level ever for me :)) I'm happy! I'd be even happier if you leave a review though ^^**

**What do you think of this twist? Nawaki missing! I mean, that's gotta merit some serious questions! Ask me anything you want to about the upcoming plot in your reviews. What do you think of the charecter portrayals in this chapter? Did I get them right? Chapter 14 is in the works, and if you want me to I'll work on a Hashirama and Mito fic :) I'd like to try them. Please please leave a review!**

**Hugs and cookies to my reviewers**

**-June**


	15. Chapter 14

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Fourteen

My feet pounded in time with my heart as we searched. A growing knot of worry centered in my chest. Sinuously wrapping around my heart and squeezing, the pain was nearly unbearable. Nawaki was out there somewhere, away from where I could protect him. I couldn't help but worry. I sighed unhappily.

"Calm down. We'll find him," Jiraiya said, shooting a reassuring smile over his shoulder in my direction.

I smiled tightly in return, but couldn't feel the optimism that Jiraiya seemed to exude. I had a bad feeling about this whole mess. Nawaki never just disappeared without telling someone where he went. This wasn't like him, not at all. _He couldn't have changed this much while I was still living. . . Could he? _A cold knot had settled in my stomach when it was going on sunset and we still hadn't found him. We had been all over the market place, nobody having seen Nawaki since he last bought groceries for our grandparents. I kept looking, because not looking would start to drive me over the edge.

We reached the playground, empty of children at this time of day. Jiraiya smiled, and in a too-obvious bid to get me to smile, stood on one of the swings. I realized what was happening, and in a fruitless bid to stop the disaster waiting to happen, I rushed behind him.

"Baka, don't do that~!"

There were two thuds as we both tumbled over- him the victim of overbalancing in surprise and me the victim of his surprising and annoying unwieldiness. For a bit, we both lay there, catching our breath. Grunting quietly, I recovered first- mostly because I was having a hard time breathing with him on top of me like that. Combining my breasts and his weight, I couldn't get the breath in me to shove him off. Just when I was considering risking inhaling deeper to get the breath to shove Jiraiya off of me, he turned over, using his arms to support himself. Gratefully I gasped in breath after breath. Once my vision stopped spinning, I was bound and determined to give him the chewing out he deserved.

However, like always, Jiraiya had an exit out of scolding.

He kissed me.

This kiss was soft, gentler than normal. There was no lust behind it. Just what I now knew was love. I tried to put my feelings behind my kiss- as out of practice as I was with feelings, I wasn't sure it would come through. At some point, he had eased us into a sitting position. He knelt to one side of my legs, one arm half protectively half possessively holding me near his lips so the kiss wouldn't be broken. His warm hand braced against my back, the other hand cupped the back of my head to deepen the kiss a little. His tongue softly probed for entrance, and I allowed him in, my lips parting willingly.

There was nothing lustful in this. Only sweetness.

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV**

She tasted of her second favorite drink, green tea. She had fiddled with her cup the longest, almost letting it grow cold before drinking in earnest. Tsunade, I noticed, had taken up healthier drinking habits after I was gone. Only once a year would she indulge in her favorite, and Shizune allowed her mostly because she knew Tsunade couldn't go a full year without a drink without going half crazy. Besides, she usually wasn't in the mood to go raising hell when she drank with me. I had still secretly worried, but also felt that it was the only kind of tribute she allowed herself to give while she was alive. _You're always so scared of what others think, Tsunade-Hime. No, I keep forgetting. You're not really a Hime anymore- more of a Queen. I guess old nicknames stick. _

She gently drew away, her eyes a little hazy and her darker pink mouth half pursed. I couldn't help but smile at the slightly dazed expression she wore- I guess she was surprised that I could kiss without lust. Well, I'd always want her, but now wasn't the time… Contrary to popular opinion, I knew how to treat women right.

"W-why did you pull that?! It was downright stupid to swing on a swing meant for children!"

"Well, don't frown like that and I won't have to goof off."

"You don't HAVE to g-goof of when I don't look happy! That wasn't smart when I was mad back then anyway!"

"Well, nobody accused me of being smart."

Tsunade exhaled exasperatedly, looking up at me crossly. I thought she might smack me but she just readjusted, and stood up. A bit shakily, I stood up as well. She took my hand, looking up at me with the ghost of a smile on her lips. I smiled back, even though that smile disappeared all too quickly, replaced by a worried frown. _I swear, that kid's gonna never hear the end of it for making Tsu-chan worry like this..._

With a gentle squeeze to her hand, I started to tug her off the playground to finish our search. However, she seemed reluctant to leave the playground. I turned towards Tsunade, ready to ask why she was hesitating. Instead, I got quite a surprise.

My Hime kissed me.

This was one of the few times when she had found the courage to instigate a kiss. So I just enjoyed it, trying not to think of making it so, so much more. Gently putting a hand to her waist and the other to the back of her head, I couldn't resist deepening it a little bit. But, as always, that was when she pulled away. Tsunade looked happy, though, so I tried not to complain.

"Let's go. We still have to look for Nawaki, remember?"

I nodded, smiling a little bit in the aftermath of the kiss. She held my hand tightly, and I tried to be content with that. Walking with her as we exited the playground, I smiled as she tugged me along, reminding me of one childhood incident where Tsunade had voluntarily touched me.

* * *

**_Flashback Jiraiya's POV_**

_ "Hey Jiraiya."_

_I looked over my shoulder, surprised to see the flat-chested girl behind me. She was looking a little down, scuffing the dirt of the training ground with her toe. I wasn't used to seeing her look so... Low. I smiled, trying to cheer her up, "Hey now. Stop frowning flat-chest. You don't want to be anymore unattractive than you already are."_

_ There. There was that old look of fury- and the punch upside the head. I winced, rubbing the sore place as I picked myself up. She was looking upset, but not that upset. Probably explained why my skinny thirteen year old self hadn't been knocked flying into a building. Or through a building._

_ "You can be so stupid sometimes… Just come with me," Tsunade snapped defensively, scowling. Obedient for fear that she'd hit me again- this time a lot harder- I followed when she turned on her heel. _

_Wondering vaguely what she wanted me to come with her for, I honestly didn't dare ask. Unless I was teasing her, I had learned what to do fast if I didn't want to get hit. And the teasing opportunities were all too often, so I ended up banged up more often than not. For once, I was able to keep my mouth shut around my thirteen year old teammate._

_ "Where are we going?"_

_ Or maybe not. It had just slipped out, honestly… I hadn't meant to say something and- oh, wait, she wasn't mad. I could tell that she was just exasperated; Tsunade wore her heart on her sleeve, which could be really bad for a kunoichi but she was really strong anyway. Overly strong. Drat… I keep babbling…_

_ "Just shush and I'll show you. Okay?"_

_ I nodded mute agreement, still wondering. She grabbed my hand after a bit, turning half-around. She was smiling, which I took to be a good sign since I didn't think there was any malice in Tsunade's look. I blinkered in surprise- Tsunade actually looked rather attractive when she smiled. Which wasn't too often around me. After that, she turned around and we raced pell-mell down the back alleys of Konohagakure until I wondered if we were going anywhere at all, or if Tsunade just wanted to run with me. A warm, unfamiliar feeling entered my chest at that. I didn't really have time to think about it as we were going very fast._

_ All too soon Tsunade skidded to a stop. I smacked into her back (on accident) and the both of us tumbled over, me on top and her on the bottom. I was sputtering breathlessly and Tsunade seemed to have had the wind knocked out of her- for all of three seconds. Then Tsunade pushed me off, accidentally (I think) smacking me into a tree. _

_With a groan, I plopped down under it and rubbed the sore place on my chest from her hands. Tsunade's hands were tiny, but they could cause A LOT of damage. Coughing a bit, I realized one of my ribs had cracked. Or at least, it felt like it. I was no use with healer jutsus- especially self healing ones- so I started to panic ever so slightly. What if my rib snapped? I had heard horror stories of how painful it was, and I didn't need any more pain than Tsunade dealt out at practice time or when I shot my mouth off. Which was often, according to her._

_ "Oh, don't be a baby… Here, I can help."_

_ I was briefly surprised when Tsunade put her hands gently on my aching chest. She had knelt next to me, and warm green chakra was pouring from her hands into me. It was a bit uncomfortable, because somehow just the feel of her gentle touch was making me feel strange. Hot and bothered. Oh crap… I remember what this is… Sarutobi-sensei explained it that one time...Sexual arousal, I think he said. _

_Tsunade didn't give any sign that she was feeling the same way, thankfully, so I was able to at least try to push it out of my mind. Didn't help that she kept on touching me. She leaned back when she was done, dusting herself off and standing up. With a slight smile, she reached down toward me. I glanced at her hand, puzzled for a minute and trying to figure out if this was a trap._

_ "It's not a trap, idiot. What reason would I have for pummeling you anymore than I already did?"_

_ She had a point._

_ I took her hand, and she easily pulled me up despite the fact that I was a few inches taller than her and weighed more. Tsunade had always been strong and fairly mature (except when she was hitting me) but the look of almost childish glee in her eyes threw me off. I smiled uncertainly._

_ "Oh, just look you knuckle head."_

_ When I started looking back at the alleys we had just emerged from, she growled in annoyance. Tugging my hand, she made me look behind me towards the tree I had just smacked into. My breath caught at the sight of the sunset. However, someone more beautiful soon drew my attention with her happy sigh. Her eyes were aglow with happiness as she watched._

_ A funny warmth started in my heart- this girl wasn't so bad when she wasn't hitting me. Her eyes were the color of honey, the color they got when she was really happy._

_ And she was still holding my hand._

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV Present**

I was snapped out of my musings when Tsunade yanked particularly hard on my hand. The disgruntled expression on her face I was intimately familiar with. Grinning helplessly and holding up a hand in half the world-wide known gesture of surrender, I chuckled faintly.

"Don't hit me. I was just thinking."

_That incident had been before Nawaki. Before everything started to go wrong. So, utterly wrong…_

"Well, stop spacing out. We're supposed to be looking for Nawaki."

"Yes Hime."

"Don't call me that."

For once, I knew when to shut up. This was one of those times.

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

Thankfully, he knew when to shut up. I smiled tiredly, nervously. I was mostly on edge because we still hadn't found Nowaki. In the middle of exiting the playground, it hit me where he could be. Without a word, I started off fast. _Ooooh, if he's where I think he is, NO WAY is he getting away with scaring everyone so easily… _I ground my teeth a little, then focused on moving forward towards the location. Jiraiya was complaining loudly behind me but I didn't catch what he was saying. I was too busy planning an elder-sister punishment for an IRRTATING little brother who vanished and made everybody worry including his big sister and OOOOOHHH was he going to GET IT for making Grandmother and Grandfather worry like this... Not to mention Jiraiya... And me, of course.

I finally skidded to a stop at the viewing ponds. Jiraiya bumped into my back, but his strong arms steadied us both from toppling over this time. I smiled just a bit- remembering another time when I wasn't quite so lucky.

* * *

**_Tsunade's POV Flashback_**

_ I felt happy that I had finally led Jiraiya to the right place. He could be such an idiot at times... And this wasn't a date, no matter how much Sensei teased me that it was. I had absolutely no intention of going out with my perverted teammate... I just wanted to make him see that I wasn't all violence. That it wasn't just him who could love beauty._

_ I had wanted so badly to show Jiraiya this, since he was such a silly romantic. I did like the occasional love story, even though they were infinitely predictable to my teenage mind. But Jiraiya just had to screw it up by falling on me._

_But, no matter however much I was irritated with him, he always came back. It might have been that we were on the same team, but I was a little grateful for someone who didn't treat me special on account of my birth OR my temperament. We could argue with each other without either one of us winning- which was interesting enough, even if it annoyed the hell out of me at times._

_ As I looked over at him when he wasn't looking, I realized he had grown. He was still my annoying, loudmouth teammate, but something had intruded upon our usual banter. His shoulders looked stronger than before, his wiry chest looking thicker and of course, he had had that damn growth spurt a while ago. It really annoyed me that the teammate who used to be shorter than me now towered over me. _

_Stupid boys and their two growth spurts... _

_But he'd also grown a little mentally. Five times out of ten he knew when to keep his mouth shut (instead of not at all) and was a little less annoying thanks to that. Now he may be taller than me- although he wasn't heavier by a long shot yet. While I had to deal with unfortunate female assets, most of his body was muscle and bone. Those selfsame female assets were more trouble than they were worth. Sometimes I wished I had my old flat-chested body back- although I would never go back to the teasing part of that existence. Jiraiya was sturdier than normal, and it took more to send him flying out of the training area._

_I knew that was so from training. He had a rather nasty trick where he'd attempt to sidle in closer with his hands up and ready to rattle off signs, as if to get in a close range jutsu, and then get you with a really sharp elbow to the face. I knew because he pulled it on Orochimaru at least once. Funnily enough, it had worked. Well, only that once. Orochimaru doesn't easily forget embarrassment, nor a trick pulled successfully on him._

_Shaking my head to clear it, I gazed out at the sunset. The colors were spectacular from this hill. I had stumbled upon it during one of my runs around Konohagakure (stress relief besides hitting Jiraiya). Jiraiya had been so quiet I was able to enjoy the sunset without any irritating interruptions._

_Maybe he wasn't so bad after all._

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

"Let's split up. We'll cover more ground that way."

And we did split. Jiraiya went around to check the left sections of viewing ponds, and I went right. The Viewing Ponds- well, not our private ones- still had the odd shinobi here and there, but no tow-headed brunette twelve year old among the visible ones. The field, dotted with ponds and puddles, was constantly in use by those who didn't want to try the less reliable viewing screens in the bars. Mostly the spirits who had been here longer were the ones who visited here. There were some private pools, like the one Jiraiya and I had visited, but it would take ages to search them...

_Che! Where are you Nawaki?! You're worrying everyone..._

My heart clenched when I had searched five private pond areas and I still couldn't find him. Maybe this was a wild goose chase. _Maybe he's really __gone. Gone to wherever those vanished spirits go..._I shook my head to loose that bad feeling from it.

I kept looking, my desperation growing. My LITTLE BROTHER was out there, alone, and probably scared out of his wits... I growled in big sisterly anguish. I had only just gotten Nawaki back it seemed... _Was I destined to lose him all over again? _Fearful thoughts began to race through my head. _No... Not again... Not again! I don't want to lose him! I lost him already when I was alive... _What calmed me down was the realization that you could only die once. Nawaki wasn't technically alive, so he couldn't die again.

_Could he?_

I shook my head, unwilling to think on such a subject just yet. Nawaki couldn't be erased. Souls just don't disappear on their own- Jiraiya had told me that in an earlier conversation about the missing spirits. It was hard to erase a soul, but possible if the soul had enough darkness. Nawaki had no darkness in his soul- he had died a child. He couldn't be eradicated if that was the truth.

"HELP! Anybody… Please… HEAR MEEE!"

I heard the child's cry nearby. Running in the direction where I had heard the voice, I saw a large tree, and beside it, a viewing pond. I recognized the little girl as one of Nawaki's playmates, Naoko. The black haired child was sobbing pitifully and hoarsely now, convinced no one could or would come to save her. _Well, sweetie, you're about to be proven wrong..._

I made my way quickly over to her, kneeling next to the little one. She couldn't have been older than Nawaki had been when he died. A wave of pity washed through me for whoever had lost such a child this young. I remembered with a pang how it felt to lose a little brother. Losing your son or daughter had to be ten times worse. Luckily, that was one pain I never had to suffer.

As I started untying her, I tried to calm her down, saying, "Naoko, you're alright, I'm here. I'll get you out of this." Saying so, I pulled on the ropes, expecting them to snap.

They didn't.

Tear-stained, slanted brown eyes looked up at me. I heard a squeak of pain hiss from her lungs when the things tightened at my pulling. I tried my best to reassure her and keep the glowing green rope from crushing her, "Honey, it's alright, Jiraiya has stuff to cut this with and he'll be over in just a minute."

I took a deep breath, turned my head away from poor Naoko's ears and bellowed, as loud as I could, "JIRAIYA! GET OVER HERE!"

It wasn't much later when I heard a thump- Jiraiya jumping from one of the trees. For once taking the situation in at a glance, Jiraiya whipped out a kunai and with a single swipe, cut through the stretchy green material holding Naoko. He seemed a bit tired afterward, and I gently put a hand on his arm. He looked down at me, and I looked up at him, asking with my eyes if he was OK. As usual, it took him a minute to figure it out.

_You Baka. My Baka._

When he did figure it out, he just absently nodded and let me grab his hand. I kneaded the fingers a bit before I refocused back on Naoko. The dark skinned child was sniffling, looking very upset. _Well, no wonder. No way of telling how long she's lain here, tied up..._

"Naoko right? Feel any better with that thing off you?"

Naoko didn't look at all reassured; in fact, she started crying again. When Jiraiya gave me a helpless look over my shoulder, I stepped in. I couldn't bring myself to slap the kid, which was what I would have done if she were older. Gently hugging the kid, I then let go and looked her seriously in the eyes with my hands connected to her shoulders. Somehow, that calmed her down a bit. Enough so she quit sobbing at least. I took a deep, calming breath to steel myself for what I was about to ask Naoko.

"Naoko? Have you seen Nawaki recently?"

The question very nearly started her sobbing again, but to Naoko's credit, she kept the sobs in. She slowly nodded.

"Where?"

"H-here."

"When?"

"Earl-lier today... But..."

"But what?"  
"He's gone now... I don't know where it took him..."  
I was starting to get annoyed. This kid didn't know how to get to the damn POINT which was to find my brother and kick his behind for making everybody worry... I clenched my fist- which turned out not to be a good idea. Naoko gave a loud yelp and glared accusingly at me when I swiftly removed my hand. I groaned quietly.

"She's just really worried about Nawaki," Jiraiya interceded for me. I shot him a grateful look that he didn't catch. While he worked on calming Naoko down, I tried to calm myself. My head was starting to ache with the weight of the apprehensions in my mind. I took deep breaths, trying to ease the weight. Put on that emotionless façade that shinobi and kunoichi were supposed to be so good at. _Hell, I was said to be the greatest kunoichi alive! Why is hiding my emotions so damn hard now?! _Somehow, though, I already knew the answer.

My little brother, someone I cared deeply about was in jeaopardy and this stupid little girl refused to tell me where he was... She was talking to Jiraiya even as I thought, and held her tiny hand out to him with a fistful of something dark. _**Wait a minute you don't know for sure he's in trouble,**_the logical side of myself argued. The big sisterly, more emotion driven side replied, _I know when my brother's in danger! This feels like one of those times..._

**Che! And where have feelings gotten you in your life? Nothing but heartbreak!**

_Not all the time. Look at Jiraiya._

_**He hurt you worse than the other deaths combined! It was you yourself that felt that his death clinched your fate... Doomed forever to giving love and having it snatched from your grasp! **_All the while the argument was going on in my head a sense of foreboding grew like a great, hulking shadow over my heart.

_I love Jiraiya, and I love Nawaki. It's the simple truth. If you refuse to see it, logic is more stupid than I thought._

Jiraiya saved me from further internal debating by grabbing my arm. I came back to earth abruptly, looking at Jiraiya. His face, normally tan and cheerful, was white and upset looking. A dizzying churning, like I had accidentally chased sleeping medication with sake, started in my lower belly.

"Tsunade... Nawaki..."

I finally snapped, "Spit it out!"

"Nawaki's been kidnapped."

_ No... _It hurt to process it. My little brother, snatched by Kami knew what. Jiraiya, with his hand shaking ever so slightly, produced what Naoko had given him. The dark something turned out to be what looked like a stone spar. Attached was a large scrap of Nawaki's favorite teal outfit. I just stared at it briefly, trying to comprehend the meaning behind it.

It hit me moments later.

_My little brother has been kidnapped._

_And I'm gonna get him back._

* * *

**Hey! I updated :D It feels like sooooo long. Anyway, how do you like the flashback to their younger days? I know the timeline may not be right, but still. I like it the way it is. Has anyone heard about what's happening to Tsunade? :'( That made me cry so much... But at least she's gone to be with Jiraiya. Unless there's a twist I don't know about yet. Who knows with Orochimaru screwing things up? Sheesh. Anyways, tell me how you like it in a review :) **

**I only got two reviews last chapter, so I'm kind of worried that people have lost intrest. :( Is that true? Please leave a review to dissuade me of that notion! :3 Please please review, I'm still trying to get to 100 reviews :) I'm trying not to be greedy, but it's a goal of mine. :) Please leave a review and help me out! **

**Hugs and cookies to all who review**

**-June**


	16. Chapter 15

Adventures

In the

Afterlife

A Tsunade x Jiraiya Tale

By: June

Chapter Fifteen

"No."

"What the fuck do you mean no?! I didn't even say anything yet!"

"I _**know **_that look, Tsunade. No, you're not going," Jiraiya said, his black eyes unusually stern, "Not without me."

A chill went through me. No... I could lose Jiraiya to whatever had taken Nawaki. I didn't want to go through the hell of losing him- not again. Not now. Not after what we had shared... Not now... I turned my face up to his, doing my best to conceal the fear that was threatening to shred me and leave me in pieces. But, as usual, he saw through me.

"Tsunade..." He tentatively, tenderly reached a hand out for me. I accepted the hug, too upset to even think about hitting him. Sniffling slightly, I buried my face in his robes. Concentrating on breathing deeply, I slowly got a handle on my emotions. Backing up, I looked up at him. No matter what, I was determined to not let him go. Not this time, dammit.

"Jiraiya. You know I love you... Right?"

Jiraiya's eyes lit at the words- one of the few times I had said that without him saying it first- but his grip remained firm on my hands. I felt a little bit guilty, looking up at him. I ducked my head, trying to plan how to go and find him without Jiraiya following me and possibly getting hurt. And he couldn't use the "spirits don't die" escape route. There were things worse than death, and he didn't deserve to suffer them. Hell, I would suffer them before I let him anywhere near it. . . I heard small bare feet smacking the ground as Naoko ran away. I groaned inwardly. _There goes one of our leads. . ._

"Just let go. We need to tell Grandfather and Grandmother what happened to Nawaki…"

"Tsunade, you should know by now that I'll never let you go. Not without a fight," Jiraiya murmured, but he did relent. Instead of gripping both my hands, he settled for only keeping one in his strong grip. Sighing, I realized it would have to do. He really wouldn't let me go... A warm feeling coalesced in my belly at the thought. Sighing, I gave in. _At least I did so with better grace than I would have while we were living,_ I thought wryly as Jiraiya led me towards my grandparents' home. I docilely followed... Even though I knew he would be furious with me later, I now knew what I would have to pull to get out of here.

Grandfather was waiting at the door for me. Hashirama's face was worried and tired as he leaned on the door frame. Even with his own chakra strength in the world of the living, my grandfather could tire like any mortal even in the spirit world. I moved over to him, Jiraiya still attached to me. _A little clingy, are we?_

His eyes brightened, "Tsunade. Did you..." His face fell when he saw no recalcitrant twelve year old boy being dragged behind me. I winced inwardly.

"No, Grandfather... We haven't found him. But we do know where he might be."

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV**

After Tsunade explained our misadventure, Hashirama stood quietly in thought for a while. Then he heaved a heavy sigh.

"What you did was right, coming back to report. We need to sleep and then start planning the rescue."

Tsunade nodded mutely. She had been worryingly quiet ever since she explained. I squeezed her hand gently, Smiling silently, I pulled her into my arms. She was almost frighteningly calm, but she cuddled into my chest nonetheless.

"Jiraiya... I just... Can we..."

She didn't seem to be able to finish her sentences. I sighed softly, hearing her do the same. I was worried about Nawaki as well, but she was beyond tense even in my arms. I grinned as I came up with the perfect plan to distract her from our mutual worries.

Scooping her up in my arms, I spun us around.

"J-JIRAIYA YOU BAKA! PUT ME DOWN RIGHT-!"

I staggered a bit, but managed to stay upright when I stopped spinning. Tsunade was too dizzy to even speak; I could practically see the spirals around her eyes. I was breathing hard, but it was worth it to feel Tsunade relaxed in my arms.

Even if it wasn't the kind of relaxed I wanted her to be, I craned my neck down, and planted a kiss on her forehead. She made a noise that sounded like a cross between a moan and a squeak. I smiled a little. I'd forgotten Tsunade always hated those carnival rides that twirled and spun.

"Y-you baka... Don't pull th-this crazy stuff... ooogh," Tsunade moaned, her head flopping against my chest. I just petted her with one hand, trying not to laugh. Making my way towards my place, I started to grin, unable to quit. I had never thought I'd be holding Tsunade like this, ever. Man, was I glad I got the chance.

* * *

**Tsunade's POV**

_That idiot. Why does he always have to go and screw with the best-laid plans of everyone around him? Ugh... I feel like I'm gonna be sick... _

I tried to tug on Jiraiya's sleeve, to warn him, but I was too damn **dizzy **at the moment. Starting to flail a little in panic, I tried to stand upright but everything was going crazy. My head was spinning madly and I couldn't see straight to save my life. _Dammit. Why do I have to get motion -urgh- motion sickness? _

Somehow, before I threw up, I was standing upright in an alley. Jiraiya was bracing me, making sure I didn't fall over into my own vomit or worse. In that moment, I was profoundly grateful that Jiraiya knew how this routine went.

Then it was gone.

I promptly threw up.

* * *

**A Few Minutes Later**

When I finished, I straightened up shakily. Blinking to clear my blurry vision, I felt a hand take mine. Leading me a little deeper into the alley, Jiraiya chuckled sheepishly, "I'm sorry Tsunade. I forgot that you hated those carnival rides that spun you around for a reason..." He paused, and I had the sneaking suspicion that I looked like I was going to be sick again.

All I could muster was a glare in his general direction. I straightened myself out, standing with my back straight again as I yanked my hand free. Waiting until things stopped spinning again, I wiped my mouth with my free hand. Panting a little, I started moving back towards home. He followed me, passing in a few strides. Even if I didn't plan on sleeping on the rescue, I needed appropriate gear as well as a way to distract him. If I had to drug him again to stop him from coming, so be it.

_I hate betraying his-no, don't think like that. You aren't betraying him, you're protecting him, _I reasoned with myself. He lagged a little, and I scowled. I hated it when he slowed down on purpose; it made me feel our height difference. He just grinned at me, one of those goofy ones designed to strip my defenses. I sighed, trotting to catch up. Jiraiya wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. I could feel his heartbeat speed up; mine did the same thing when he was near.

Honestly. At points I thought he was paranoid, but seeing what I was planning... I refused to give in to the guilt that threatened to tear at my insides. Instead, I made a soft grumbling noise but complied in his whim. Cuddled this close against him, I could practically feel the runoff of his emotions.

Jiraiya had always been a passionate person.

Sometimes he got silly with it, though, and I mean REALLY silly. I mean, he tried love poetry with me. However, I had squashed that venue when we were kids by scolding him about his iambic pentameter. I had just learned the words from my father, who'd loved poetry, and it made me feel very superior indeed. Later, I had regretted that. I had barely known anything about poetry at the time, and I had gone and scolded him. He bounced back, though. He always did, no matter what I did.

Once, he had tried to sing outside my window, Unhappily for me at the time, he was roaring drunk... _Do we really need to know how that went? _

"Tsunade?"

FUCK. He had... No, I'd actually winced outright. I felt like pouting because I had no defenses and it was HIS fault, dammit... I keep forgetting Nawaki and everything was getting muddled in my head...

I finally shoved all that tangled mess out of my mind. I could bother with that crap after I implemented my plan.

"Just remembering an old incident."

He laughed, "Which one?"

"The one where you got drunk as a lord and started singing at my window- the one where Daddy threw you off the premises before I could get to you?"

He winced. "Yeah. Mostly the monstrous hangover after that night, though. That was when I realized I hate to drink alone."

I swatted his arm, grinning, "Figures. Do you even remember the lyrics?"

He looked slightly embarrassed, "Tsunade, I probably made them up on the spot. Even I forget stuff I write unless I write it down on a notepad."

I laughed, shoving him, "Baka!"

He grinned, with a little bit of sadness behind it. I abruptly realized I had never explained to him what that little nickname meant to me. He probably thought it was still derogatory. Not so... For me, anyways...

"Hey. You know it isn't bad, right?"

He blinked bemusedly at me.

I sighed, "Jiraiya... No wonder you never noticed..."

"Whaaat?"

"'Baka' doesn't mean what it did when we first met..."

He looked even more confused. I should have guessed that hints wouldn't work...

He's my idiot after all.

"I love you," was all I managed before we reached the house.

He turned away to fiddle with the lock, and I slipped a package of my special medicine from the med pack I had taken to carrying on my belt in my twenties. I winced when I remembered the effects of this one; it made the recipient drowsy, unable to use his/her reflexes properly, speed decrease, strength decrease, and eventual unconsciousness. It would wear off in about twenty four hours, unless something really unexpected happened. For once managing to keep an emotion to myself, I winced inwardly.

Jiraiya opened the door, and I slid inside. Keeping my palm invisible, I slid it into the hem of my sleeve. I let my hand back out, smiling a little. He suspected nothing as we went on with our evening. He had always been too damn trusting for a ninja...

* * *

I caught him before he fell from the chair. There was a look of betrayal in those black eyes I held so dear, but I had steeled myself for it and refused to feel guilt for protecting him. I leaned over and softly kissed his forehead as his eyes flickered shut.

"Jiraiya... I love you, and that's why you can't come... I refuse to lose you when I've only just found you again."

I carried him back to the bed, grunting softly as I laid his unwieldy self down.. I got him properly up onto the bed, and then I went to the closet. Like I had said, I needed proper gear for a rescue mission. Grabbing black clothing, I started stripping. Smiling crookedly to myself at how Jiraiya would have loved the sight (if he were still conscious), I yanked the tight shirt off and replaced it with another, similarly tight one in black. Grabbing my hair and tying it back with a single black tie, I smiled crookedly.

With absolute silence, I slipped out of the window.

Or I should have.

Instead, I clunked to the floor, my limbs unresponsive. Cursing, I tried to get up, tried to gather my wits enough to preform Creation Rebirth- anything to get rid of this horrible, hated helplessness. I managed to gather myself long enough to straighten up, and then I heard it.

"Sorry, Hime. You picked the wrong powder. I built up a pretty good resistance to that one while I was alive. The other one worked better."

He stepped out onto the deck, the damn toad, and I expected him to look cocky at outfoxing me. He didn't. He just looked a little sad. I struggled to my feet, my fists clenching. _He drugged __**me! **__And I didn't notice... can't even ID this drug, dammit... So USELESS... _

"A rare toad toxin, Hime... Of course, not enough to make you disappear. I love you too much for that," he said softly, sincerely. He believed every word of the bullshit he was saying.

"THIS is LOVE?!"

"Protecting you from haring off without a plan into the midst of an enemy that no one spirit could defeat is."

I started to shake as I realized he had the same damn plan as me.

"A little bit of payback, too. I never got the chance after that battle with Orochimaru where you tried to drug me," he said, semi-smugly with a glint of my old teammate in there. He wrapped his arms around me, puling me up and into his arms. Despite the urge to lay quiet, to sleep, I wound up and slugged him in the arm.

At least it made him wince, but he held me all the tighter.

"I don't want you hurt, Tsunade. Which is why I'm taking care of this before you can get yourself into it... I don't think I could stand it if you were hurt. Hell no if you d-... Not even going to say it. I can't even think it without feeling pain, Tsunade. I guess, even after all the training you gave me, I'm still a wuss when it comes to you hurting," Jiraiya said, smiling that crooked smile that had made hearts melt as he carried me to the front door again, "I don't want to ever see you suffer like you did after Nawaki and... his... deaths ever again. So I'm going to get him back."

He finished so cockily, and he smiled at me. I could barely see him through the blur in my eyes.

I wasn't sure whether it was from the drug or from the onset of the tears. _You FOOL... You BAKA... Their deaths may have hurt me, may have cracked me, but it was YOU dying so kami-damned NEEDLESSLY that destroyed me! You weren't much in particular to me, then, but... but you were __the one who cared enough to put me back together. You c-cared whether I lived or died... Not just physically, but on the inside... Dammit, you were MINE. MY __B__aka. _

I wasn't sure how I was able to, but sounds that were between a hiccup and a cough escaped my throat as I curled in on myself. The drug pulsed through my system as I tried to gather my wits to tell him, to tell him that he meant more to me safe than almost anything...

The thought of my little brother stopped me cold. The thought of him alone out there, fighting some nameless evil, and my heart failed me. I closed my eyes in defeat. In that moment, I both hated and loved Jiraiya for that damn white knight streak of his.

Moments later, I fell unconscious.

* * *

**Jiraiya's POV**

I smiled sadly as I tucked the blankets around Tsunade. She was unconscious, and would remain so for as long as I'd need for my purpose. I'd take care of whatever had snatched Nawaki and have him back and hugging his sister before she even got together enough to come after me. Since I suspected this mess wasn't his fault, I would let the kid get away without a HUGE apology. The rascal would probably be chastised enough by whatever that took him.

I took a moment to look at her. To take her in. So much had happened in the past few months. _Was it really only a few months since we got together? It feels like we've been together forever... _Her face was drawn even in sleep, which only hardened my resolve. I would get her little brother back... And win back the smile on her face.

With her love, it felt like I could take on the world.

I leaned over, and kissed the spot where her lavender Yin Seal would have been, had she been older. But I liked her this way. It felt like we were in Konohagakure all over again, and it had been me that won her heart instead of that rat bastard. I still couldn't quite believe it had been me she turned to after that ordeal. I was more than happy to help her, though, especially since we had actually gotten together after the whole thing.

I wasn't happy with that asshole for breaking her heart AGAIN though.

Shaking my head sheepishly, I banished the thoughts of the one who'd hurt my lady. Hunting him down and gelding him could wait, though. The more present crisis was Nawaki being gone. Taking a deep breath, I smoothed the bangs from her eyes. I wished I could smooth the upset wrinkles from her brow, but the only way to do that would be to accomplish my mission successfully. And I knew I wouldn't fail.

Not now, that I knew her heart was on the line.

I took and released another deep breath, pulling myself away from her. I headed to the back window of my apartment. Tsunade would fuss and call it unnecessary to sneak out the back window, but I considered it my only bit of fun in this whole nightmare. After all, I needed a way to defuse a little bit so I could stay relaxed. I already knew I could summon still, but the problem was that I couldn't summon any of the living toads.

It was a rather irritating switch, since Gamabunta was still in the world of the living. And saving Naruto's skinny ass from the usual messes he got himself into, I hoped. Bunta had always been my favorite toad, so he'd know to look after my last student like his life depended on it.

Shaking my head to clear it of thoughts of that gaki, I smiled. It felt good, to be off on a mission again. Even if it had an unfortunate topic. Opening the window, I hopped onto the windowsill and took a glance around the back bedroom of my place. It was a bit bare, but I intended to change that.

There were plenty of children in the Neutral Zone whose parents refused to claim them, or went to a different place than the kids did. The only problem would be to choose which ones we wanted to adopt. My heart squeezed a little at the thought.

Looking back to my focus, I smiled grimly. Time to go to work. Swiftly and silently, I slid out of the window and into the night.

* * *

**Hey! I finally updated :) It's my birthday today X3 I'm so happy to be seventeen! I'm updating to celebrate with you guys the special day :) Please give me a review! **

**Anyways, what do you think of the twist in this one? What do you think of the toxin not working appropriately? Should I keep the slight timeskip in there or endeavor to write the whole evening? Leave a review to tell me what you think! **

**:) **

**-June**


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